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The Big Bang Theory Season 2

2-6 The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

(クーパー・ノウィッツキの定理)

After a lecture by Leonard and Sheldon, a graduate student Ramona Nowitzki becomes obsessed with Sheldon, and insinuates herself into his life as a platonic girlfriend/assistant. Sheldon likes having someone who brings him free food and performs personal services for him. Ramona proves to be a helpful influence on Sheldon's work, but he becomes tired of her as she prohibits his recreational activities, and forces him to solely concentrate on his research. Eventually Sheldon realizes that he is in "some sort of relationship" with Ramona, and seeks help from Penny and Leonard to get rid of her, without success. Things come to a conclusion when Sheldon reaches a breakthrough in his scientific research and Sheldon is extremely grateful and asks if he can do something for her. Ramona suggests they share credit for his discovery calling it "The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem". Naturally, Sheldon refuses and subsequently kicks Ramona out.
(シェルダンの講義を聞いて、大学院生のラノマ・ノウィッツキはシェルダンに心酔し、彼のプラトニックなガールフレンド兼助手としてシェルダンの生活に入り込む。初めは無料の食料や個人的な奉仕を歓迎していたが、研究に影響を持ち始め、娯楽を禁じ研究に集中するように強制するに及び、シェルダンは疎しさを感じるようになる。やがて、ラノマと「ある種の関係」が築かれつつあると気付き、ペニーとレナードに彼女の排除を頼むも失敗する。そして、シェルダンが研究のブレーク・スルーを達成し、ラノマの貢献に大いに感謝し、何かお礼がしたいと申し出た時にこの関係は終焉する。ラノマは彼の発見に「シェルダン/ノウィッツキの定理」と命名し、名声を分かち合うことを希望したが、シェルダンは当然のごとくこれを拒絶し、彼女を追い出したのだ。)

Word Review

[A lecture room at the university]
Leonard: So, if any of you are considering going into experimental physics, my door is always open. Once again, I'm sorry that the demonstration didn't quite work out, but now we know what happens when you accidentally spill peach Snapple into a helium neon laser. Short answer is… don't. And now to tell you about the theoretical physics department is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Dr. Cooper?(それじゃ、君たちの誰かが実験物理に進みたいと思ったら、僕のドアはいつでも開いてるよ。もう一度、デモがうまく作動しなかったのは申し訳ない、でもヘリウム・ネオン・レーザーにピーチ・スナップルを間違ってこぼしたら何が起こるかわかったよね。結論から言えばそんなことするなってこと。さあ、理論物理学についてはシェルダン・クーパー博士が話してくれるよ。シェルダン・クーパー博士。クーパー博士?)
Sheldon: (off) Forget it.(やらないよ。)
Leonard: Excuse me. Sheldon, we both agreed to do this.(失礼、シェルダン、僕らこれに合意したじゃないか。)
Sheldon: (off) It's a waste of time. I might as well explain the laws of thermodynamics to a bunch of labradoodles*.(時間の無駄だ。むしろラブラドゥードゥルの群れに熱力学の話をした方がましだ。) *プードルとラブラドール・レトリーバーの交配から得られる犬種
Leonard: If you don't do this, I won't take you to the comic book store.(これをやらなきゃ漫画書店に連れて行かないよ。)
Sheldon: (entering) Hello. Nice work with the laser, by the way. Looking out at your fresh young faces, I remember when I too was deciding my academic future as a lowly graduate student. Of course, I was 14, and I'd already achieved more than most of you could ever hope to, despite my 9 o'clock bedtime. Now, there may be one or two of you in this room who has what it takes to succeed in theoretical physics, although, it's more likely that you'll spend your scientific careers teaching fifth graders how to make paper mache volcanoes with baking soda lava.(こんにちは、レーザによる素晴らしい研究だったね。ところで、君たちの新鮮な顔を見ると大学院の低学年で将来の学問分野を決めたころを思い出すよ。もちろん、僕は9時就寝の14歳で既に君達の殆どが生涯望むよりも多くの業績を上げてたけどね。さあ、この部屋にいる君たちの内一人か二人は理論物理学で成功するのに必要なものを持ってるかも知れないが、しかし、君たちはむしろ小学5年生に重炭酸ソーダの溶岩使った張り子の火山の作り方を教えるような科学の経歴を積むだろう。)
Leonard: Oh, good God.(おー、なんてことを。)
Sheldon: In short, anyone who told you that you would someday be able to make any significant contribution to physics played a cruel trick on you, a cruel trick indeed. Any questions? Of course not. I weep for the future of science. Now if you'll excuse me, the latest issue of Batman is out. Come, Leonard.(つまり、君たちはいつか物理学に素晴らしい貢献をするだろうなんて言う人は君たちを残酷なペテンにかけてる、実際残酷なペテンだ。質問ある?もちろんないね。僕は科学の将来を嘆き悲しんでいる。よければ、最新版のバット・マンが売り出されてるので。行こう、レナード。)
Leonard: Laser demonstration's looking pretty good now, huh?(レーザーのデモは今すごくよく見えるだろ、ええ?)

[The university cafeteria]
Raj: I love this time of the year. The leaves are turning, there's a bracing chill in the air.(僕は一年で今の時期が好きだ。木の葉は紅葉し、大気にはすがすがしい冷たさがある。)
Howard: Plus there's a whole new crop of female grad students about to put on just enough winter weight to make them needy and vulnerable. That's right, honey, have another calzone, Daddy can wait.(それに加えて、女の子の新しい大学院生の群れがまさに冬の体重をまとって愛の渇望と危さへ誘おうとする。そうさ、ハニー、もうひとつカルゾーネを、父さんは待てるよ。)
Raj: Isn't there a university policy against dating graduate students?(院生とのデートに対する大学の方針ってないの?)
Leonard: No, if you can talk to them, you can ask them out.(ないよ、もし君が彼らと話せるなら、彼らを誘ってもいいんだ。)
Raj: Damn, there's always a catch.(くそ、その手に乗るか。)
Leslie Winkle: (entering) Hey, guys.
Leonard: Hey, Leslie.
Leslie: So, dumbass, I heard you made a grad student throw up last night.(それで、ボンクラ、君は夕べ院生を吐かせたんだって?)
Sheldon: The truth can indeed be a finger down the throat of those unprepared to hear it. But why should I cater to second-rate minds?(真実が、それを聞く準備ができてない連中の喉を押し下げる指となるのさ。でもどうして僕が2流の精神に対してサービスをしなきゃなんないんだ?)
Leslie: Because first-rate minds call you "dumbass".(なぜなら、一流の精神は君を「ボンクラ」って呼ぶからさ。)
Sheldon: Oh, yeah? Well… you're a mean person.(へえそうかい?君は嫌な奴だな。)
Girl: (arriving) Excuse me, Dr. Cooper, I'm Ramona Nowitzki, I was at your talk last night. I think you're just brilliant.(失礼、クーパー博士、私はラモナ・ノウィッツキ、昨日の講演聴いてました。あなたは本当に素晴らしいと思います。)
Sheldon: That is the prevailing opinion.(これが一般的な意見だよ。)
Leslie: Oh, now I'm gonna throw up.(おお、今度は私が吐きそうだ。)
Howard: Howard Wolowitz, department of engineering, co-designer of the International Space Station's Liquid Waste Disposal System.(ハワード・ウォロウィッツ、機械工学科、国際宇宙ステーションの液体廃棄物処分システムの共同設計者だ。)
Ramona: Ew. Dr. Cooper, I've read everything you've published. I especially liked your paper on grand unification using string-network condensates and was wondering how you determined that three-dimensional string-nets provided a unified picture of fermions and gauge bosons*?(ゲゲッ、クーパー博士。私はあなたの論文をすべて読みました。特にひもの網目凝縮を使った大統一理論に関する論文が好きです。フェルミ粒子とゲージ・ボゾンの統一描像を生み出す3次元のひも網目をどうやって決定したのか不思議でした。) *2つの素粒子の相互作用を媒介する粒子
Sheldon: Amazing, an intelligent labradoodle.(素晴らしい。知性的なラブラドゥードゥルだ。)
Howard: Woof.
Sheldon: The fact is I'm quite close to a breakthrough in showing how neutrinos emerge from a string-net condensate.(事実は、いかにニュートリノがひもの網目凝縮から生成するかを示す新発見に僕が極めて近づいてるってことさ。)
Ramona: Oh, my God, that would change the way we view the entire physical universe.(あらすごい、それって私の物理学の世界全体の見方を変えるわ。)
Sheldon: It's what I do.(それを僕はやるのさ。)
Howard: You know, the Pishkin-Wolowitz Liquid Waste Disposal System is turning a few heads as well.(えーと、ピシュキン・ウォロウィッツ液体処分システムも面白いんだぜ。)
Ramona: Again, ew. You know, I'd love to hear more about how you intend to add neutrinos. Could we get a cup of coffee sometime?(も一回ゲゲッ、つまり、あなたがどうやってニュートリノを加えようとしてるかもっと聞きたいんです。いつか一緒にコ-ヒーでもいかがですか?)
Sheldon: I don't drink coffee.(僕はコーヒーを飲まない。)
Howard: I do. I love me a cup of joe.(僕は飲むよ、カップ一杯の喜びもね。)
Ramona: Well, it doesn't have to be coffee. How about dinner?(コーヒーじゃなくてもいいわ、夕食はどうですか?)
Sheldon: I do eat dinner.(夕食は食べるよ。)
Ramona: Great. I know a terrific little Italian place.(いいわ、私素敵なイタリアンの場所知ってます。)
Sheldon: I never eat in strange restaurants. One runs the risk of non-standard cutlery.(僕は知らないとこでは食べない、標準じゃない食器の危険性があるからね。)
Ramona: Excuse me?
Leonard: Sheldon lives in fear of the three-tined fork.(シェルダンは3本枝フォークの恐怖を抱いてるからね。)
Sheldon: Three tines is not a fork, three tines is a trident. Forks are for eating, tridents are for ruling the seven seas.(3本枝はフォークじゃない、3本枝は三又だ。フォークは食べるためのもので、三又は7つの海を制するためのものだ。)
Ramona: What if I brought food to your place?(もしも私が食料を買ってあなたの家に持ってったらどうします?)
Sheldon: That would be acceptable. On Mondays, I eat Thai food. Mee krob* and chicken sate** with extra peanut sauce from Siam Palace.(それならいいよ、月曜は僕はタイ料理を食べる。シャム・パレスのミー・クローブとチキン・サテのピーナッツ・ソース添えだ。 *揚げビーフンに野菜の炒め餡かけソースが乗った料理、**タイ風焼き鳥
Ramona: You got it. I already have your address.(了解、私はもうあなたの住所知ってるわ。)
Sheldon: What a nice girl.(なんていい子なんだ。)
Howard: Sheldon, do you have any idea what just happened?(シェルダン、君今何が起こったかわかってるの?)
Sheldon: Yes. Apparently I'm getting a free dinner.(ああ、僕は明らかにただの夕食が食べられるんだ。)

[The apartment building lobby]
(Ramona is waiting by the lift. Penny enters.)
Penny: Oh, yeah, no, this thing's majorly out of order.(あ、だめ、これ壊れてんの。)
(Penny picks up out of order sign.)
Penny: See? Sorry.
Ramona: That's okay. Guess I'm taking the stairs.(大丈夫よ、階段使うわ。)
Penny: Where you going?
Ramona: 4-A.
Penny: Oh, are you here to see Leonard?
Ramona: No, Dr. Cooper.
Penny: Dr. Sheldon Cooper?
Ramona: We're having dinner.
Penny: Sheldon Cooper? Tall, thin, looks a little like a giant praying mantis?(シェルダン・クーパー?背の高い、痩せて、巨大なお祈りするカマキリみたいな?)
Ramona: He is cute, isn't he?(彼可愛いいじゃない?)
Penny: Sheldon Cooper?

[The apartment]
(Leonard opens the door, Ramona and Penny are outside.)
Ramona: Hi, Leonard.
Leonard: Hey, Ramona. Come on in.
Ramona: Thanks. Where should I put this?(ありがとう、これどこに置けばいいですか?)
Leonard: Uh, the kitchen's fine. (To Penny) Hey, what are you doing?
Penny: I need to see this.(私これを見る必要があるわ。)
Leonard: Uh-huh. The viewing area's right over there. Sheldon, your girl… date… person… Ramona's here.(見物席はあそこだよ。シェルダン、君のガール・・・、デート・・・、人・・・、ラモナが来てるよ。)
Sheldon: Oh, hello.
Ramona: Oh, sorry I'm late. I just got so caught up reading the draft of your latest paper.(遅くなってごめんなさい。あなたの最新の論文の原稿を読むのに夢中になってたの。)
Sheldon: Did you enjoy the humorous footnote where I illustrate mirror-symmetry by likening it to the Flash* playing tennis with himself?(彼自身とテニスをしているフラッシュになぞらえて鏡面対象を描いた滑稽な脚注を楽しんだかい?) *The Flash is a name shared by several fictional comic book superheroes from the DC Comics universe.
Ramona: So funny. But the idea that you might be able to incorporate gravity, I have to tell you, I found it physically exhilarating.(とっても愉快だったわ。でも重力を組み入れることができるってアイデアは、断然、体が熱くなるわ。)
Sheldon: My hypotheses tend to have that effect.(僕の仮説はそういう効果を持つ傾向があるんだ。)
Ramona: I'm sorry I didn't bring enough for your friends. I assumed we were going to be alone.(ごめんなさい、あなたの友達の分持ってこなかったわ。私たちだけかと思って。)
Leonard: Oh, yeah. No, we were just going.(あー、そう、僕ら今行くところだよ。)
Howard: To watch, right?(みるべきだ、だろ?)
Leonard: No, come on, now, we're going out.(だめ、出かけるんだ。)
Penny: Oh, come on, we'll be quiet.(おー、いいじゃん、静かにしてるから。)
Leonard: Let's go. Okay, you two, just, have a nice… whatever this is.(さあ、行こう、素敵な・・、なんでもいいけど。)
Penny: (in hallway) Okay, you guys, look, I know this is none of my business, but I just, I have to ask, what's Sheldon's deal?(オーケー、みんな、ねえ、私に関係ないけど、聞かなきゃ、シェルダンはどんな手を使ったの?)
Leonard: What do you mean "deal"?(”手”ってどういう意味?)
Penny: You know, like what's his deal? Is it girls? Guys? Sock puppets?(つまり、どんな策なの?女の子?男?ソックス人形?)
Leonard: Honestly, we've been operating under the assumption that he has no deal.(正直言って、彼は手なんか使わないっていう仮定のもとにやってきた。)
Penny: Come on, everybody has a deal.(そんな、誰だって作為はあるわ。)
Howard: Not Sheldon. Over the years, we've formulated many theories about how he might reproduce. I'm an advocate of mytosis.(シェルダンにはない。何年もの間、僕らは彼がどうやって自分を複製するかっていう、いろんな理論を組み立ててきたんだ。僕は細胞の有糸分裂説の提唱者だ。)
Penny: I'm sorry?
Howard: I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons.(僕は、ある日シェルダンがものすごい量のタイ料理を食べて、二人のシェルダンに分裂するんだと思ってる。)
Leonard: On the other hand, I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species, and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton.(一方で、僕はシェルダンは彼の種の幼生形で、ある日繭を紡いで、2箇月後に蛾の羽が生えて皮膚骨格が形成されるんじゃないかって思ってるんだ。)
Penny: Okay, well, thanks for the nightmares.(オーケー、悪夢みたいな話をありがとう。)
Leonard: Hey, do you want to hang out with us?(ねえ、僕らにつきあわないか?)
Penny: What are you guys gonna do?(あなたたち何するの?)
Leonard: Uh…
Howard: My mom's making a brisket* tonight.(今夜は母さんがブリスケットを作ってるんだ。) *牛肉の胸に近い肩バラ肉。アメリカでは、ユダヤ系の肉の煮込み料理を指す場合がほとんど。
Leonard: The one with the little onions? Mmm.(小さい玉ねぎ添えの奴?うーん。)
Penny: Yeah, I'm busy, so, goodnight.(私用事があるの、おやすみ。)
Howard: Her loss. Let's go.(行かないのは彼女の損失だ、さあ行こう。)
Raj: Brisket party! B-to-the-R-to-the-I-S-K… To-the-E-to-the-T… Ooh…
Leonard: Don't.

[The cafeteria]
Leonard: Hey, aren't you having breakfast?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: Are you experimenting with nutritional suppositories again?(また栄養座薬の実験してんの?)
Sheldon: Not in these pants.(このパンツではしてないよ。)
Leonard: So, how'd it go with Ramona last night?(それで、夕べラノマとはどうだったの?)
Sheldon: Oh, great. She's smart, insightful and she has a very unique way of, you know, revering me.(おー、素晴らしかったよ、彼女はお利口で、洞察力があって、その、僕を崇拝してるんだ。)
Ramona: (arriving) Here's your spinach mushroom omelette .(ほら、ホウレンソウ・マッシュルーム・オムレツよ。)
Sheldon: Thank you. Did anyone touch it?(誰かそれ触った?)
Ramona: Gloves were worn by everyone involved. I was vigilant.(関係者はみんな手袋してたわ、私は番してたの。)
Sheldon: Ramona pointed out that I've been wasting 20 minutes a day standing on cafeteria lines.(僕がカフェテリアに並ぶのは1日に20分間の時間を無駄にしてきたってラノマが言うんだ。)
Ramona: Time which would be better spent tackling the great physics problems of our day.(物理学の偉大な問題と格闘するのに使うべき時間よ。)
Sheldon: You don't tackle the big issues, Ramona. You fence with them. En garde. Riposte*.(君は大きな問題と格闘してない、ラノマ。君はそれを受け流してるんだ。ガード。突き返しだ。) *[仏]フェンシング用語
Leonard: Touche*.(参った。) *[仏]フェンシング用語
Leslie: (arriving) Morning.
Leonard: Ah, hey Leslie.
Leslie: So, Sheldon, I see you're organizing your papers for the Smithsonian Museum of Dumbassery.(それで、シェルダン、君はスミソニアンのボンクラの博物館用に論文を書いてるんだろ。)
Ramona: There won't be any room until they get rid of the permanent Leslie Winkle exhibit.(レズリー・ウィンクルの永久展示を取り除くまでは展示場所がないでしょ。)
Sheldon: Oh, good one.
Leslie: I see you got a grad student to fight your battles for you. I'll let you keep your lunch money today.(君の戦いのために院生を使うんだね。君の今日の昼食代を節約させてあげよう。)
Ramona: Okay, Dr. Cooper is on the verge of a breakthrough. If you're going to stay, you'll have to be respectful and quiet. (オーケー、クーパー博士は新発見の寸前よ。ここに居たいなら敬意を表して静かにしてね。)
(Leslie leaves. Ramona looks pointedly at Leonard)
Leonard: Wait for me.
Ramona: So have you worked out the neutrino issue?(あなたはニュートリノ関連の研究したことある?)
Sheldon: Well, to paraphrase Mozart, all the subatomic particles are there, I just have to put them in the right order.(モーツァルトに言い換えるなら、全ての亜原子粒子はそこにある、僕は単にそれらを正しい順序に並べればいいのさ。)
Ramona: You're so witty.(あなたは本当に機知に富んでるわ。)
Sheldon: Aren't I?(そうじゃないとでも?)

[The apartment]
(There is a knock on the door which then opens and Penny enters.)
Penny: Hey, guys, this package came for y…
(Sheldon is sitting in his usual seat, typing on his laptop. One foot is in a foot spa. Ramona is pumicing the other.)
Ramona: Dr. Cooper is working.
Sheldon: Yes, I'm close to a breakthrough. Ooh, it tickles.(僕は新発見に近付いてる。おお、むずむずするよ。)
Penny: Sorry.
(Puts package down and leaves. In hallway, shudders)
Penny: Holy crap on a cracker.(なんてこと。)
Leonard: Hey, Penny.
Penny: Hi. You know, you probably don't want to go in there.(はい、ねえ、そこ入んない方がいいと思うわ。)
Leonard: Why? What are they doing?
Penny: You know, the only way I could explain it would be in a therapist's office with dolls.(つまり、言うとすれば、可愛い子付きの療法士の部屋みたいよ。)
Leonard: (enters) Hoo-boy.
Ramona: Dr. Cooper's working.
Leonard: Yeah, I can see that. Sheldon, Halo night, Koothrappali's. You coming?(うん、わかってる、シェルダン、ヘイローの夜だ、クースラパリの家でね。来るかい?)
Sheldon: Oh, yes, it's Halo night. Let me just dry my tootsies.(おー、行くよ、ヘイローの夜だ。足を乾かさせてね。)
Ramona: You're not going to Halo night.
Sheldon: Yes, I am. It's Wednesday. Wednesday's Halo night.
Ramona: Didn't a great man once say, "Science demands nothing less than the fervent and unconditional dedication of our entire lives"?(偉大な人がかつて「科学は我々の生涯で燃え盛る無条件の献身しか求めない。」って言わなかった?)
Sheldon: He did.
Ramona: And who was that great man?(その偉大な人って誰?)
Sheldon: Me. Sorry, Leonard.(僕だ。ごめん、レナード。)
Leonard: Seriously? You're not coming?(君は行かないのか?)
Sheldon: You heard her. How can I argue with me?(彼女の言うこと聞かなかったかい?僕はどうやって自分と論争できるんだ?)
Leonard: Okay, well, once again, you guys have a good… whatever this is.(オーケー、じゃあ、も一度、君達、良い・・・なんでもいいけど。)
Ramona: Dr. Cooper, I have to tell you, your friends are holding you back.(クーパー博士、言っておきますが、あなたの友達はあなたの足を引張ってるわ。)
Sheldon: I prefer to think of it as I'm pulling them forward.(僕が彼らを前に引張ってるって考えたいんだ。)
Ramona: Halo night? A man with your intellectual gifts doesn't waste an evening playing video games.(ヘイローの夜が?あなたのように知性に恵まれた人はビデオ・ゲームの遊びで夕べを無駄にしないわ。)
Sheldon: He does on Wednesdays.(水曜の夜にはそれをするんだ。)
Ramona: Not if he wants a Nobel Prize.(ノーベル賞を欲しいならしないわ。)
Sheldon: He does want that. Does a man with my intellectual gifts play paintball on weekends?(彼はそれを欲っしてる。僕みたいな知性を授かった人は週末にペイント・ボールをするかな?)
Ramona: What do you think?(何を考えてるの?)
Sheldon: Drat.(ちぇっ。)
Ramona: Now shall we get back to work?(さ、仕事に戻らない?)
Sheldon: I suppose. Battlestar Galactica comes on tonight. (Pause) I guess I can wait for the DVD. (Pause) And then never ever watch it.(思うに、バトルスター・ギャラクシカが今夜放映されるんだ。僕はDVDを待てると思う。でも絶対それを見ないよ。)

[Montage of scenes]
(To the sound of "You Can Be My Yoko Ono" by Barenaked Ladies we see
1. the guys set off for paintball while Sheldon, dressed in paintball gear, sadly waves them goodbye,
2. Ramona catch Sheldon hiding behind the shower curtain playing on a Nintendo DS,
3. Ramona remove a book Sheldon is reading to reveal a Batman comic underneath,
4. Sheldon escape the apartment in his paintball gear only to be chased back inside by Ramona returning with groceries, she finds him sitting in his underpants with his paintball helmet still on.)

[Outside Penny's apartment]
Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock, in a low voice) Penny, (knock, knock, knock) Penny, (knock, knock, knock) Penny
Penny: Sheldon, honey, I've told you, it's a small apartment, you only have to knock one time.(シェルダン、言ったでしょ、小さいアパートなんだから、一回ノックすればいいのよ。)
Sheldon: Please, please, I don't have a lot of time. Look, Ramona finally dozed off, and I need you to help me get rid of her.(お願いだ、あまり時間がないんだ、ラノマが遂に寝込んだ、彼女を排除して欲しいんだ。)
Penny: Get rid of her how?(彼女を排除する?)
Sheldon: I don't know, but apparently I'm in some kind of relationship, and you seem to be an expert at ending them.(わからないけど、でも明らかに何らかの関係ができてるんだ、君はそれを終わらせる専門家みたいだし。)
Penny: Excuse me?
Sheldon: I see man after man leaving this apartment never to return.(僕は次から次へと男がここを出て行って二度と戻ってこないのを見てる。)
Penny: Okay, first of all, it is not man after man.
Ramona: (off) Dr. Cooper?!
Sheldon: Hide me.
Penny: Hide you?
Sheldon: I formally request sanctuary.(頼む、避難させてくれ。)
Ramona: Why aren't you working?
Sheldon: Um… she distracted me. I told you, Penny, I don't have time for your nonsense, I have important things to do.(彼女が気をそらすんだ。言ったろ、ペニー、君の無意味さにつきあう時間はないんだ、やるべき重要なことがあるんだ。)
Penny: Oh, man.
Ramona: I know what's going on here.
Penny: Really? Well, then will you explain it to me?
Ramona: You're in love with Dr. Cooper.(あなたクーパー博士が好きなんでしょ。)
Penny: Uh, yeah, no, that's not it.
Ramona: Don't try to deny it. He's a remarkable man, but you have to let him go.(否定しなくてもいいわ、彼は素晴らしい人ですもの、でもあなたは彼を諦めるべきよ。)
Penny: Oh, gee, okay.
Ramona: I know it's hard, but he's a gift to the whole world, and we can't be selfish.(困難でしょうけど、でも彼は世界にとっての宝よ、私たちは利己的になるべきじゃないわ。)
Penny: Yeah, he's a gift all right.(そうね、彼は宝、わかったわ。)
Ramona: Sisters?(同士?)
Penny: Um, sure, sisters. (同士ね、いいわ。)
(Ramona leaves.)
Penny: Holy crap on a cracker.(なんてこと。)

[Leonard's bedroom]
(Leonard is asleep. There is a tapping on the wall. He wakes up.)
Leonard: Sheldon? (Pause, then more tapping) What are you doing?!
Sheldon: It's Morse code.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: So we can communicate through the wall.(だから壁越しに交信できるよ。)
Leonard: We are communicating through the wall.
Sheldon: Yes, but the communication is not encrypted.(そう、でも交信は暗号化されてない。)
Leonard: I don't know Morse code.
Sheldon: It's very simple. This is A (knock knock) this is B (knock knock-knock-knock) this is C…
Leonard: Sheldon, I'm not going to learn Morse code at three o'clock in the morning!(シェルダン、僕は朝の3時にモールス信号を習うつもりはない。)
Sheldon: All right.
Leonard: Don't come in here, don't come in here, don't come in here, don't (Sheldon enters) Aw! What's going on?
Sheldon: Shh! Ramona's sleeping on the couch.(ラモナは長椅子で寝てる。)
Leonard: I know. When is she going home?
Sheldon: Never, that's the problem. I need your help.
Leonard: What are you talking about?
Sheldon: I'm invoking the Skynet* clause of our friendship agreement.(僕は僕らの友好合意事項のスカイネット条項に訴えてるんだ。) *映画『ターミネーター』シリーズに登場する架空のコンピューター、その総体。
Leonard: That only applies if you need me to help you destroy an artificial intelligence you created that's taking over the Earth.(それは君が作った地球を乗っ取る人工知能を破壊するのを手伝うのに必要な時だけ適用される。)
Sheldon: Come on! Don't nitpick!(よせよ!ケチなこと言うなよ!)
Leonard: Good night.
Sheldon: Shh. All right, I'm invoking our bodysnatchers* clause.(わかった、僕は、ボディー・スナッチャー条項に訴える。) *(元意)死体泥棒、これまでに4度映画化されているジャック・フィニィの原作『盗まれた街』の映画化版『ボディ・スナッチャー/恐怖の街』
Leonard: The bodysnatchers clause requires me to help you destroy someone we know who's been replaced with an alien pod.(ボディ・スナッチャー条項は、宇宙人の繭にされた僕らの知ってる誰かを、君が破壊するのを手伝うときに適用されるんだ。)
Sheldon: Yes. She's in the living room. Go, I'll wait here.
Ramona: (entering) Sheldon, what are you doing out of bed?
Sheldon: Now! Do it!
Ramona: You know you need your sleep in order for your cognitive processing to perform at optimum levels. Now come on.(あなたの認識過程を最適レベルに保つために睡眠する必要があるって知ってるでしょ。さあいらっしゃい。)
Sheldon: Godzilla clause?(ゴジラ条項は?)
Leonard: Not unless she destroys Tokyo.(東京が破壊されなきゃ適用されない。)
Sheldon: Rats.(くそっ。)

[The living room]
(Sheldon is surrounded by whiteboards.)
Sheldon: (excitedly) I've got it! I finally reconciled the black hole information paradox with my theory of string-network condensates!(やったぞ!遂に僕のひも・網目凝縮の理論でブラック・ホールの矛盾を解きほぐしたぞ!)
Ramona: It's unbelievable! It's paradigm-altering!(信じられないわ!それって定説の転換よ!)
Sheldon: And I could not have done it without you.(そして、君なしではできなかったよ。)
Ramona: Oh, please, I just offered a little encouragement.(おー、そんな、私はただちょっと励ましただけよ。)
Sheldon: It was a lot more than that. You helped me work out the masses of all the fermions, and you pumiced my hammer toe. How can I ever repay you?(それよりもっと大きかったよ。君は全てのフェルミ粒子の質量を解明するのを手伝ったし、僕の足の指を軽石で削ってくれた。どうやってお礼しようか?)
Ramona: Well, would you consider naming it the Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem?(えーと、それにクーパー・ノウィッツキの定理って名前をつけてくれないかしら?)
Sheldon: Who's Nowitzki?(ノウィッツって誰?)
Ramona: I'm Nowitzki.(私がノウィッツってよ。)
Sheldon: Oh, you want me to share credit?(おー、君は共著にしてほしいのかい?)
Ramona: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: Get out!(出ていけ!)

[The hallway]
(Ramona is leaving.)
Penny: Oh, hey, hi.
Ramona: Oh, bite me!(うるさい!)
Penny: Sisters?

[The cafeteria]
(A red haired girl approaches the table.)
Girl: Excuse me, Dr. Cooper, I'm Kathy O'Brien. I just finished reading your paper reconciling the black hole information paradox with your theory of string-network condensates, and it just took my breath away.(失礼、クーパー博士。私はキャシー・オブライアンです。あなたの、ひも・網目凝縮の理論でブラック・ホールの矛盾を解きほぐした論文を読んだんですけど、息が止りそうでした。)
Sheldon: Maybe when I publish it, I'll include an inhaler.(僕がその論文を出版したら、吸入器を添付するよ。)
Kathy: Would you possibly have any time for me to pick your brain?(いつかお時間頂けたら、あなたのお考えを拝借していいですか?)
Sheldon: Let's see, today's Thursday. Thursday nights, I eat pizza from Giacomo's. Sausage, mushrooms, light olives.(ちょっと待って、今日は木曜日、僕はジャコモのピザをたべるんだ。ソーセージとマッシュルームとライト・オリーブだ。)
Kathy: Great. I'll bring it to your place. I have the address.(素敵、私があなたの家に持っていくわ。住所知ってるし。)
Sheldon: What a nice girl.
Leonard: Sheldon, do you see what just happened here?
Sheldon: Yes, I'm getting a free pizza. I'm on a roll.(ああ、ただでピザを食べられる、僕は絶好調だ。)

[The living room]
(The guys are eating.)
Sheldon: More Pad Thai, please.(もっとパッタイをくれないか。)
Howard: Sheldon, you've already had four servings.(シェルダン、君はもう四人前もべてるよ。)
Raj: You might want to slow down a bit, buddy.(ペース落とした方がいいよ。)
Sheldon: Just one more bite.(もう一口だけ。)
Leonard: Sheldon? Sheldon, are you okay?
Sheldon: I'm just so… full.
(Sheldon begins to shake uncontrollably, then expand, then a second Sheldon separates from the original Sheldon and ends up sitting next to him. Leonard wakes up in bed with a start.)[シェルダンが頭を振り出し、膨らみ、二人目のシェルダンが分離して隣に座る。レナードはベッドではっとして目が覚める。)
Leonard: That's it. No more Thai food.
(それまでだ、タイ料理はもう結構だよ。)

Story by Stephen Engel & Daley Haggar
Teleplay by Tim Doyle & Richard Rosenstock
Japanese interpretaion by Norih



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