Sheldon is fired from his job as a physicist at the university when he insults his new boss Dr. Eric Gablehauser. With his new free time, Sheldon works on a series of rather meaningless experiments at home such as a study on luminous fish, which drive Leonard and Penny crazy. Leonard tries to cure him by sending for Sheldon's mom. When she arrives for a visit, his friends realize she is completely the opposite from what they expected. She is down-to-earth, sweet, and a devout Christian. After waiting it out his mother finally forces Sheldon to apologize and he is given his job back, after she flirts with Dr. Gablehauser. (新しい学科長に無礼なことを言って首になったシェルダンは引きこもりになって自己の世界に没入し、次々に奇妙な実験を行い、遂には発光魚の開発まで始めた。心配したレナードはシェルダンの母親を呼んでシェルダンを引き戻そうとする。現れた母親は予想に反して、現実的で子に甘い敬虔なクリスチャン。彼女は結局シェルダンを強制的に教授のもとへ謝りに行かせ、教授は母親に惹かれシェルダンを復帰させる。)
Word Review
[Sheldon and Leonard's apartment] Sheldon: I've been thinking about time travel again. (また時間旅行について考えてたんだ。) Leonard: Why, did you hit a roadblock with invisibility? (どうして、見えない障害物にでもぶつかったのかい?) Sheldon: Put it on the back burner. Anyway, it occurs to me, if I ever did perfect a time machine, I'd just go into the past and give it to myself, thus eliminating the need for me to invent it in the first place. (それは置いといて、ともかく、突然ひらめいたんだけど、もしも完璧なタイムマシーンができたら、僕は過去に行って自分にそれを与えて、まず第一にそれを発明する必要を取り除くんだ。) Leonard: Interesting. Sheldon: Yeah, it really takes the pressure off. (そうさ、そうすればプレッシャーから解放されるよ。) Leonard: Sounds like a breakthrough, should I call the science magazines and tell them to hold the front cover? (Exiting the apartment.) (突破口が開けそうだね、科学雑誌に電話して表紙を空けとくように言おうか。) Sheldon: It's time travel, Leonard, I will have already done that. (これは時間旅行だ、その時僕は既にそれをやっているよ。) Leonard: Then I guess congratulations are in order. (だとしたらお祝いが必要だね。) Sheldon: No, congratulations will have been in order. You know, I'm not going to enjoy this party. (いや、お祝いは既に準備できてるはずさ。つまり、僕はこのパーティーを楽しめないんだ。) Leonard: I know, I'm familiar with you. (わかるよ、君のことはよく知ってるからね。)
Sheldon: At the last department party, Dr Finkleday cornered me and talked about spelunking for 45 minutes. (前回の学科のパーティーの時、フィンクルディー博士は僕をコーナーに追い詰めて45分も洞窟探検のこと話してたからね。) Leonard: Yes, I was there. Sheldon: You know what's interesting about caves, Leonard? Leonard: What? Sheldon: Nothing. Leonard: Well then we'll avoid Finkleday, we'll meet the new department head, congratulate him, shake his hand and go. (だから僕らはフィンクルディーのことを避けて、新しい学科長に会って、彼にお祝いを言って握手して別れるんだ。) Sheldon: How's this? Pleased to meet you, Dr Gablehouser. How fortunate for you that the University has chosen to hire you, despite the fact that you've done no original research in 25 years, and instead have written a series of popular books that reduce the great concepts of science to a series of anecdotes, each one dumbed down to accommodate the duration of an average bowel movement. Mahalo*. (こんなのはどう?ゲイブルハウザー博士こんにちは。あなたは25年間もオリジナルの研究をやらずに、科学の偉大な概念を普通の便通時間で読めるくらいに簡略化した逸話のシリーズにして人気の本を書いて来ただけなのに、大学があなたを学科長に選ぶなんて本当に運がいいですね。マハロー。) *ハワイ語で"Thank you!" Leonard: Mahalo's a nice touch. (マハローは粋だね。) Sheldon: Do you know there are only eight consonants in the Hawaiian language. (ハワイ語にはたった8個の子音しかないって知ってる?) Leonard: Interesting, you should lead with that. (おもしろいね。君その話いけてるよ。)
[The department party]
(Sheldon, Raj and Leonard are at the buffet table) Raj: Oh, God, Look at this buffet. I love America. (すごい、このビュッフェ見てよ。アメリカ大好き。) Leonard: You don't have buffets in India? (インドにはビュッフェないの?) Raj: Of course, but it's all Indian food. You can't find a bagel in Mumbai to save your life. Schmear me. (もちろん有るさ。でも全部インド料理なんだ。生きるためにベ-グルなんて見つけられない。(バター)塗って。) Sheldon: Well here's an interesting turn of events. (あれ、おもしろそうな展開になったぞ。) Leonard: What?
(Leonard sees Howard entering with a statuesque blonde.) Leonard: Howard brought a date? (ハワードが女の子連れて来たぞ。) Sheldon: A more plausible explanation is that his work in robotics has made an amazing leap forward. (もっとわかりやすく言えば、彼のロボット工学の研究が飛躍的な進歩を遂げたってことだな。) Howard: Hey, what up, science bitches? May I introduce my special lady friend, Summer. (Puts arm around her.) (へい、どうしたんだい、科学オタク達?僕の特別な女性の友人を紹介しよう、サマーだ。) Summer: I already told you, touching's extra. (言ったでしょ、お障りは別よ。) Howard: Right. Sorry. Leonard: (to Sheldon) Here comes our new boss, be polite. Gablehouser: Hi fellas, Eric Gablehouser. Howard: Howard Wolowitz. Gablehouser: Howard, nice to meet you, and you are? (ハワード、はじめまして。えーっと君は?) Sheldon: An actual real scientist. (To Leonard) How was that? (実際、真の科学者です。(レナードに)こういうのはどうだい?)
[The stairwell of the apartment building]
(Sheldon is carrying a box of his things) Sheldon: I can't believe he fired me. (信じられない、彼に首切られたよ。) Leonard: Well, you did call him a glorified high-school science teacher whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts. (彼のことを、自分のおならに火をつけたのが最後にうまくいった実験だった、見せかけの高校の科学の先生なんて言うからだよ。) Sheldon: In my defence, I prefaced that by saying "with all due respect." (弁解させてもらうけど、「恐れながら」って言ってからそれを言ったんだぜ。)
[The apartment]
(Sheldon is in the kitchen cooking, Leonard enters) Leonard: Morning Sheldon: Morning. Leonard: You're making eggs for breakfast? Sheldon: This isn't breakfast, it's an experiment. Leonard: Huh? Cos it looks a lot like breakfast. Sheldon: I finally have the time to test my hypothesis, about the separation of the water molecules from the egg proteins, and its impact vis-a-vis taste. (卵のたんぱく質と水分子の分離とその味に対する影響に関する僕の仮説を試す実験の時間がやっとできたんだ。) Leonard: Sounds yummy. I look forward to your work with bacon. Sheldon: As do I. Leonard: You know, I'm sure if you just apologised to Gablehauser he would give you your job back. (君がゲーブルハウザーに謝りさえすれば、彼は君を復職させてくれると思うよ。) Sheldon: I don't want my job back. I've spent the last three and a half years staring at greaseboards full of equations. Before that I spent four years working on my thesis. Before that I was in college, and before that, I was in the fifth grade. This is my first day off in decades, and I'm going to savour it. (復職したいと思わないよ。数式に満ちたホワイトボードから始まって、これまでの3年半は費やしてきたんだ。その前4年間はドクター論文に費やして、その前は大学にいたし、そんでその前は5年生だったんだ。これがこの10年間で初めての休息なんだ、ゆっくり味わいたいよ。) Leonard: Okay. I'll let you get back to fixing your eggs. (オーケー、卵の料理に戻っていいよ。) Sheldon: I'm not just fixing my eggs, I'm fixing everyone's eggs. (僕のだけじゃなくみんなの卵の料理してるんだ。) Leonard: And we all thank you.
(Sheldon takes his eggs and sits down. Takes a photograph of them. Writes in his notebook, then takes a forkful. Writes in notebook again.) Sheldon: Use new eggs. (There is a knock on the door). Penny: (popping her head round) Hi, hey. I'm running out to the market, do you guys need anything? Sheldon: Oh, well this would be one of those circumstances that people unfamiliar with the law of large numbers would call a coincidence. (おー、これは大数の法則を知らない人たちが偶然と呼ぶ状態の一つだ。) Penny: I'm sorry? Sheldon: I need eggs. Four dozen should suffice. Penny: Four dozen? Sheldon: Yes, and evenly distributed amongst brown, white, free range, large, extra-large and jumbo. (そう、茶色と白とフリーレンジと、大と特大とジャンボが均一にまざってるやつ。) Penny: Okay, one more time? Sheldon: Never mind, you won't get it right, I'd better come with you. Penny: Oh, yay!
[Penny's car] Penny: How come you didn't go into work today. (どうして今日は仕事に行かなかったの?) Sheldon: I'm taking a sabbatical, because I won't kow-tow* to mediocre minds. (長期休暇取ってるんだ。二流の人に頭下げるつもりはないからね)
*(昔の中国流の)叩頭(こうとう)の礼、〔人に〕卑屈に追従(ついしよう)する,ぺこぺこする 〔to〕 Penny: So you got canned, huh? (つまり、首になったの?) Sheldon: Theoretical physicists do not get canned. But yeah. (理論物理学者は首にはならない。でもそのとおりなんだ。) Penny: Well, maybe it's all for the best, you know I always say, when one door closes, another one opens. (えーと、多分、結局はよかったってこと、いつも言ってるんだけど、ドアを閉じる人がいれば開ける人もいるよ。) Sheldon: No it doesn't. Not unless the two doors are connected by relays, or there are motion sensors involved. (二つのドアがリレーでつながってるか、動作検出器が設置してない限り、それはないね。) Penny: No, no, I meant… Sheldon: Or the first door closing causes a change of air pressure that acts upon the second door. (さもなければ最初のドアが閉じるときに気圧が変化して二番目のドアが開かない限りね。) Penny: Never mind. Sheldon: Slow down. Slow down, please slow down. Penny: We're fine. Sheldon: Look, you're not leaving yourself enough space between cars. (前の車との車間距離が十分じゃないよ。) Penny: Oh, sure I am. Sheldon: No, no. Let me do the math for you, this car weighs let's say 4,000lb, now add say 140 for me, 120 for you. (計算してみるよ車の重量が4000ポンドだとして、僕の体重が140、君が120ポンドとするだろ。) Penny: 120? (120?) Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry, did I insult you? Is your body mass somehow tied into your self worth? (ご免。侮辱したかな?君の体重を間違えてる?) Penny: Well, yeah. Sheldon: Interesting. Anyway, that gives us a total weight of, let's say, 4,400lb. (おもしろい。総重量が4400ポンドとして。) Penny: Let's say 4,390. (4390ポンド。) Sheldon: Fine. We're travelling forward at, good Lord, 51 miles an hour. Now let's assume that your brakes are new and the callipers are aligned, still, by the time we come to a stop, we'll be occupying the same space as that Buick in front of us, an impossibility that nature will quickly resolve into death, mutilation and… oh look, they built a new put-put course*. (僕らは、オオ、時速51マイルで進んでる。きみのブレーキは新しくて、キャリパは調整済と仮定して、停止するまでの間は前のビュイックまでの距離が保たれるとしよう。死または大けがに至る確率は、あー見て、彼らは新しいパット・パットゴルフ・コースを作ったみたいだ。)
*Putt-Putt is the trademark of an American company that builds and franchises miniature golf courses and Family Entertainment Centers.
[The supermarket] Sheldon: This is great. Look at me, out in the real world of ordinary people, just living their ordinary, colourless, workaday lives. (これは素晴らしい。僕を見て。普通の人々の平凡な日常の現実の世界の中にいるよ。) Penny: Thank you. Sheldon: No, thank you. And thank you, ordinary person. Hey, you want to hear an interesting thing about tomatoes. (いやこちらこそ、ありがとう平凡な人よ。トマトに関する面白いこと聞きたい?) Penny: Uh, no, no not really. Listen, didn't you say you needed some eggs. (それはいいよ、卵ほしいって言ったでしょ。) Sheldon: Uh, yes, but anyone who knows anything about the dynamics of bacterial growth knows to pick up their refrigerated foods on the way out of the supermarket. (うん、だけどバクテリアの成長について何か知ってる人はスーパーマーケットで売り切れ前の冷蔵された食物を買うのかな?) Penny: Oh, okay, well maybe you should start heading on out then. (OK、自分の買うもの探して。) Sheldon: No, this is fun. Oh, the thing about tomatoes, and I think you'll really enjoy this, is, they're shelved with the vegetables, but they're technically a fruit. (いや、これは面白いよ、あっ、トマト類だ、これおもしろいでしょ、野菜の棚にあるけどあれは実際は果物だよ。) Penny: Interesting. (おもしろいわ。) Sheldon: Isn't it? (そうでしょ。) Penny: No, I mean what you find enjoyable. (私が言いたいのは、あなたが何を面白がるかよ。) Sheldon: (as Penny selects vitamin supplements) Oh boy. Penny: What now? Sheldon: Well, there's some value to taking a multivitamin, but the human body can only absorb so much, what you're buying here are the ingredients for very expensive urine. (複合ビタミン剤を飲むのは何らかの価値があるけど、人体が吸収できるのは限られてるから、君は単に高価なおしっこになる成分を買おうとしてるだけだよ。) Penny: Well, maybe that's what I was going for. (そうしようとしてるのかもね。) Sheldon: Well then you'll want some manganese. (それなら、マンガンがほしいんじゃない。)
[On the stairwell of the apartment building] Sheldon: That was fun. Maybe tomorrow we can go to one of those big warehouse stores. (おもしろかったよ。明日は大きな倉庫ストアに行こう。) Penny: Oh, I don't know Sheldon, it's going to take me a while to recover from all the fun I had today. (行くか分かんないわ。私、今日の楽しみから解放されるまで時間がかかるかも。) Sheldon: Are you sure. There are a lot of advantages to buying in bulk. For example, I noticed that you purchase your tampons one month's supply at a time. (本当。まとめ買いにはいろいろ有利だよ。例えば、君は一度に一月分のタンポンを買ってたけど。) Penny: What? Sheldon: Well think about it, it's a product that doesn't spoil, and you're going to be needing them for at least the next thirty years. (ちょっと考えたんだけど、それって腐るもんじゃないし、君はこれから30年は必要とするから。) Penny: You want me to buy thirty years worth of tampons? (私に30年分のタンポンを買えっていうの。) Sheldon: Well, thirty, thirty five, hey, when did your mother go into menopause? (30か35年分か、君のお母さんはいつ 閉経になったの?) Penny: Okay, I'm not talking about this with you. Sheldon: Oh, Penny, this is a natural human process, and we're talking about statistically significant savings. Now, if you assume 15 tampons per cycle and a 28 day cycle, are you fairly regular? (これは人間の自然な経過に関することで、統計的なすごい節約について話してるんだ28日の1周期で君が15個のタンポンを使うとして君レギュラーサイズ?) (Penny shuts door in his face.) Okay, no warehouse store, but we're still on for put-put golf, right? (OK、倉庫ストアはなしとしても、パット・パット・ゴルフは行くんだろ?)
[The apartment]
(Sheldon has several bowls containing goldfish) Leonard: (entering) Hey, I just ran into Penny, she seemed upset about something. (おい、今ペニーと会ったんだけど、何か怒ってたみたいだぜ。) Sheldon: I think it's her time of the month. I marked the calendar for future reference. (多分、月の奴じゃない。今後のためにカレンダーにしるしつけとくよ。) Leonard: What's with the fish? Sheldon: It's an experiment. Leonard: What happened to your scrambled egg research? Sheldon: Oh, that was a dead end. Scrambled eggs are as good as they're ever going to be. Leonard: So… fish. Sheldon: I read an article about Japanese scientists, who inserted DNA from luminous jellyfish into other animals, and I thought hey, fish nightlights. (発光クラゲのDNAを他の動物に注入した日本人科学者の論文を読んだんだ。それで魚の終夜灯を思いついたのさ。> Leonard: Fish nightlights. Sheldon: It's a billion dollar idea. Shhhhh! Leonard: Mum's the word. Sheldon, are you sure you don't want to just apologise to Gablehauser and get your job back. (シェルダン、本当にゲーブルハウザーに謝って復職するつもりはないの?> Sheldon: Oh, no, no, no. No, I've too much to do. Leonard: Like luminous fish. Sheldon: Shhhhh! Leonard: Right… I didn't…. Sheldon: That's just the beginning. I also have an idea for a bulk mail-order feminine hygiene company. Oh, glow in the dark tampons! Leonard, we're going to be rich. (始まったばかりさ。女性向け衛生品の通信販売会社のアイデアもあるんだ。暗闇で光るタンポン、僕ら金持ちになれるぜ。>
[The stairwell of the apartment building] Leonard: Thank you for coming on such short notice. Mrs Cooper: You did the right thing calling. Leonard: I didn't know what else to do, he's lost all focus, every day he's got a new obsession. (他に方法が浮かばなかったんで、彼は焦点を失って、毎日違うものにとらわれてるんです。)
(They enter the apartment. Sheldon is weaving on a loom. He is wrapped in a poncho.) [シェルダンがポンチョを着て機織りしている。] Leonard: This is a particularly disturbing one.( これは特に憂慮すべき事態だ。) Sheldon: (looking round) Mommy. Mrs Cooper: Hi baby. Sheldon: (mouths) You called my mother? Mrs Cooper: Oh, you got yourself a loom, how nice. Sheldon: Thank you. Mrs Cooper: Honey, why did you get a loom? Sheldon: I was working with luminous fish, and I thought, hey, loom! Mom, what are you doing here? (僕は発光魚を開発してて、そうだ、機織りだって思ったんだ。)。> Mrs Cooper: Leonard called me. Sheldon: I know, but why? Leonard: Because one of the great minds of the twenty-first century is raising glow-in-the-dark fish and weaving sarapes*. (21世紀の最も有能な奴の一人が夜光る魚を育ててサラペを織ってるからさ。)
*明るい色の長いショール(a long brightly colored shawl) Sheldon: This is not a sarape. This is a poncho. A sarape is open at the sides, a poncho is closed, this is a poncho, and neither is a reason to call someone's mother. (これはサラペじゃないよ。ポンチョだよ。サラペは脇が開いてるけどポンチョは閉じてるんだ。これはポンチョだよ。それに、どっちにしても母親を呼ぶ理由にはならないよ。) Leonard: Really, when was the last time you left the house. Sheldon: I went to the market with Penny. Leonard: That was three weeks ago. Sheldon: Well then buckle up, in the next four to eight days she's going to get very crabby. (それなら気をつけろよ。これから4~8日の間、彼女は不機嫌になるぜ。) Mrs Cooper: Sweetheart, your little friend is concerned about you. (友達があなたのこと心配してるのよ。) Sheldon: Yes, well I'm not a child, I'm a grown man capable of living my life as I see fit. And I certainly don't need someone telling on me to my mother. (僕は子供じゃない。自分の思い通りに生活できる大人なんだ。母親に連絡してくれる奴なんか必要ないよ。) Leonard: Where are you going? Sheldon: To my room, and no-one's allowed in. Mrs Cooper: He gets his temper from his daddy. Leonard: Oh. Mrs Cooper: He's got my eyes. Leonard: I see. Mrs Cooper: All that science stuff, that comes from Jesus.
[Everyone but Sheldon is in the kitchen of the apartment] Leonard: Sheldon? Your mum made dinner. Sheldon (off): (off) I'm not hungry. Mrs Cooper: Oh, Leonard, don't trouble yourself, he's stubborn. He may stay in there 'til the Rapture. Penny: Are we so sure that's a bad thing? Mrs Cooper: I'll tell ya, I love the boy to death*, but he has been difficult since he fell out of** me at the K-Mart. (あの子のことはとても愛してるわ、でもKマートで私と喧嘩して以来、あの子は気難しいのよ。)
*極端に、**仲たがいする Howard: Excuse me for being so bold, but I now see where Sheldon gets his smouldering good looks. (はっきり言っちゃって申し訳ないけど、シェルダンがどこで気難しくなったのか分かったよ。) Mrs Cooper: Oh, honey that ain't going to work, but you keep trying. (To Raj) I made chicken, I hope that isn't one of the animals that you people think is magic? You know, we have an Indian gentleman at our church, a Dr Patel, it's a beautiful story, the lord spoke to him, and moved him to give us all 20% off on lasic, you know, those that needed it. (うまくいかないかもしれないけど、やってみてね。鳥料理を作ったわ。彼があなた方が不思議に思う動物じゃなければいいけど。インド人の紳士が私たちの教会にいたの。パテル博士よ。とてもいい話なの。神が彼に話しかけて、私たち必要な人に2割引きのレ―シック手術を受けさせてくれたの。) Leonard: That is a lovely story, um, are we going to do anything about Sheldon? (素敵な話ですね。シェルダンについて僕らに何かできることはありませんか?) Mrs Cooper: Oh, we will, you have to take your time with Sheldon. His father, God rest his soul, used to say to me, Mary, you have to take your time with Sheldon. (シェルダンとは気長に付き合ってほしいの。彼のお父さんは神に召されたけど、私に言ったわ。メアリ、シェルダンとは気長に付き合わなきゃならないって。) Leonard: Sounds like a wise man. (賢そうな方ですね。) Mrs Cooper: Oh, not so wise, he was trying to fight a bobcat for some licquorish. So, everybody grab a plate, and a pretty place mat that Shelly wove. (そうでもないわ。彼はリコリッシュのためにヤマネコと戦おうとしていたみたい。みんながお皿とシェリーが編んだ可愛い小さなテーブル敷きをつかんだわ。) Penny: Has Shelly ever freaked out like this before. (シェルダンは以前にこんな風におかしくなったことがあるの?) Mrs Cooper: Oh, all the time, I remember one summer when he was thirteen, he built a small nuclear reactor in the shed and told everybody he was going to provide free electricity for the whole town, well the only problem was he had no, whatchacall, fissionable materials. Anyway, when he went on the internets to get some, a man from the government came by and sat him down real gentle and told him it's against the law to have yellow cake uranium in a shed. (いつもよ。いつかの夏をおもいだすわ、彼が13歳の時、物置の中に原子炉を作って、町中にただの電気を供給するって言ったの。唯一の問題は、なんて言うの、核分裂物質、を手に入れられなかったのよ。ともかく、インターネットで手に入れようとしたら、政府の人が来て、彼を静かに座らせて、イエローケーキ・ウランを物置に持ち込むのは法律違反だよって言ったの。) Penny: What happened? Mrs Cooper: Well, the poor boy had a fit, locked himself in his room and built a sonic death ray. (可愛そうな少年は癇癪を起して部屋にかぎを掛けて、殺人音波を作ったの。) Leonard: A death ray? Mrs Cooper: Well, that's what he called it, didn't even slow down the neighbour kids. It pissed our dog off to no end. You know, you two make a cute couple. (彼がそう呼んだの。近所の子供を大人しくさせることもできなかったわ。無益にうちの犬をおもらしさせただけ。あなた達可愛いカップルね。)
Both Leonard and Penny laugh, a little too forced. Leonard: No, we're not, we're not, not a couple, two singles, like those individually wrapped slices of cheese that…. are friends. (僕らカップルなんかじゃありませんよ。別々に包んだふた切れのチーズみたいな別々の個人の友達ですよ。) Mrs Cooper: Did I pluck a nerve there? (神経に触ったかしら?) Howard: Oh yeah. Mrs Cooper: Okay. Alright everybody, it's time to eat. (Everybody begins to do so) Oh Lord, we thank you for this meal, all your bounty, and we pray that you help Sheldon get back on his rocker. (To Raj and Howard) Now after a moment of silent meditation I'm going to end with "In Jesus' Name" but you two don't feel any obligation to join in. Unless, of course, the holy spirit moves you. (オーケー、皆さん食事の時間よ。おお神よ、このお食事と博愛に感謝し、シェルダンが戻れますようにお祈りします。沈黙の瞑想の後で「イエスの名のもとに」で終わるけど、(ラジとハワードに)聖霊が誘因しなければ、あなたたち二人は一緒にお祈りしなくていいわ。)
Time shift Penny: Oh my God, this is the best cobbler* I've ever had.
*主に米国で用いられるコブラー(パイ), 上部だけに厚いパイ皮をかぶせたフルーツパイの一種 Mrs Cooper: It was always Sheldon' s favourite. You know what the secret ingredient is? Penny: Love? Mrs Cooper: Lard.
Sheldon emerges from the bedroom area. Howard: Hey, look who's come out…. Mrs Cooper: Shhh! You'll spook him. He's like a baby deer, you gotta let him come to you. (シー。彼をおびえさせるわ。彼は小鹿みたいなの、彼の方から近づけさせて。)
(Sheldon crosses to the cobbler, takes some and puts it on a plate. Looks round at the group in the matter of a frightened animal. Everyone but Leonard looks down at their meal.) Leonard: This is ridiculous. Dammit, Sheldon, snap out of it. You're a physicist, you belong at the University doing research, not hiding in your room. (Sheldon scuttles away) (こんなの馬鹿げてる。駄目だ、シェルダン、目を覚ませ。君は研究する大学の物理学者だ。部屋に引きこもるんじゃない。) Mrs Cooper: You don't hunt, do you?
[Sheldon's bedroom]
(He is building a model of some kind of double helix There is a knock on the door) Mrs Cooper: (entering) Good morning, snicker-doodle*. *バターたっぷりのクッキーにシナモンシュガーがまぶしてあるクッキー Sheldon: Morning. Mrs Cooper: Oh, well that looks awful fancy, what is that? Sheldon: It's my idea of what DNA would look like in a silicon based life form. (僕のアイデアで、シリコンベースの生命体の中でDNAがどんなふうに見えるか示してるんだ。) Mrs Cooper: But intelligently designed by a creator, right? Sheldon: What do you want, mom? Mrs Cooper: You know how your daddy used to say that you can only fish for so long before you got to throw a stick of dynamite in the water? (ダイナマイトを水の中に投げ込む前に魚を採れるってことについてお父さんがどういったか知ってるでしょ。) Sheldon: Yeah. Mrs Cooper: Well, I'm done fishing. (私は魚を採ったわ。)(Throwing a pair of trousers on the bed) You put those on. (それをはきなさい。) Sheldon: What for? Mrs Cooper: Because you're going to go down to your office, you're going to apologise to your boss, and get your job back. (あなたは研究室に行って上司に謝って、復職するのよ。) Sheldon: No. Mrs Cooper: I'm sorry, did I start that sentence with the words "if it please your highness?" (悪いけど、「どうか陛下」ってとこから始めたかしら。) Sheldon: I'm not going to apologise, I didn't say anything that wasn't true. Mrs Cooper: Now you listen here, I have been telling you since you were four years old, it's okay to be smarter than everybody but you can't go around pointing it out. (聞きなさい、4歳の時からあなたに言って来たでしょ、他の人より賢いのはいいけど、それを人に指摘するなって。) Sheldon: Why not? (どうしていけないの?) Mrs Cooper: Because people don't like it. Remember all the ass-kickings you got from the neighbour kids? Now let's get cracking. Shower, shirt, shoes, and let's shove off. (人はそれを嫌うからよ。近所の子からいじめられたでしょ。さあ、ぐずぐずしないで、シャワー浴びて、シャツ着て、靴はいて、出かけるわよ。)(Exits) Sheldon: Wouldn't have been any ass-kickings if that stupid death ray had worked.
[The kitchen] Mrs Cooper: Problem solved. Leonard: Really? That's impressive. Mrs Cooper: Leonard, the Lord never gives us more than we can handle. Thankfully he blessed me with two other children who are dumb as soup. (レナード、神は私たちが手に負えないような問題を与えないわ。ありがたいことに、おとなしい子をもう二人与えてくれたわ。)
[Dr Gablehouser's office] Mrs Cooper: Excuse me, Dr Gablehouser, are you busy? Gablehouser: Well, actually…. Mrs Cooper: Sheldon, he's just doodling, get in here. Sheldon: Dr Gablehouser. Gablehouser: Dr Cooper. Mrs Cooper: Let's go, baby, we're losing daylight. Sheldon: Um, as you know, several weeks ago in our first encounter we may have gotten off on the wrong foot, when I called you an idiot. And I just wanted to say that I was wrong. To point it out. (ご存じのように、数週間前の初対面の際、僕があなたを愚か者と呼んで、出だしでつまずいたかもしれません。それで、僕が間違ってました。それを指摘するために。) Gablehouser: (to Mrs Cooper) I'm sorry, we haven't been introduced. Dr Eric Gablehouser. Mrs Cooper: Mary Cooper, Sheldon's mom. Gablehouser: Now that's impossible, you must have had him when you were a teenager. Mrs Cooper: Oh, aren't you sweet, his father's dead. (あらすてき。彼のお父さんはなくなっているのよ。) Gablehouser: Recently? Mrs Cooper: Long enough. Gablehouser: (indicating chair) Please. Sheldon, shouldn't you be working? Sheldon: (leaving) Okay. Leonard: Hey, how did it go? Sheldon: I got my job back. Leonard: Really? What happened? Sheldon: I'm not quite sure. It involves a part of the human experience that has always eluded me. (よくわからない。人の経験って奴には負けるよ。) Leonard: That narrows it down.
[Sheldon's bedroom]
(Mrs Cooper is tucking him in) Mrs Cooper: I'm very proud of you honey, you showed a lot of courage today. Sheldon: Thanks, mom. Mom? Mrs Cooper: Mmm-hmm? Sheldon: Is Dr Gablehouser going to be my new daddy? Mrs Cooper: We'll see. Sleep tight.
(Sheldon turns over to sleep in the glow of a luminous goldfish)
Story by Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady
Teleplay by David Litt & Lee Aronsohn
Japanese interpretaion by Norih