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The Big Bang Theory Season 2

2-5 The Euclid Alternative


As Leonard is far too exhausted because of working late at the university, Sheldon asks Penny to drive him around to run his various errands. Sheldon continually annoys Penny in her car about her check engine light, the speed bumps she was going over on Euclid Avenue and his pointless factoids. Penny then ejects him from her car and he has to walk to work. At the University Howard was forced to drive Sheldon, but left him in the middle of the road because he screams on the back of the scooter driving over the speed bumps on Euclid Avenue. This time Raj picks him up, and also kicked him out after being pestered with a lot of requests. The gang wants Sheldon to learn driving and Howard sets up a "state of the art" driving simulator to help Sheldon learn to drive. Sheldon fails horribly at it and gives up on trying to learn to drive. Because Sheldon doesn't have a way to get to the University, he decides to set up a temporary home there until Leonard finishes his experiment. Finally the cleaning staff is terrified by Sheldon lurking around the cafeteria in the early hours of the morning.

Word Review

[The apartment]
(Leonard enters, drops his keys in the bowl by the door, then collapses onto the settee. Sheldon enters from the bedroom area.)
Sheldon: Good morning, Leonard.
Leonard: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: Yeah, we're going to have to stop by *Pottery Barn* on the way to work, I bought these Star Wars sheets but they turned out to be much too stimulating to be compatible with a good night's sleep. I don't like the way Darth Vader stares at me.(さあ、僕らは仕事に行く途中でポタリー・バーンに寄らなくちゃ、このスター・ウォーズ・シーツを買ったけど、刺激的すぎて熟睡できないことが分かったんだ。ダース・ベーダの僕への睨み方が嫌いなんだ。) *USAのインテリア・雑貨ショップ
Leonard: I'm not going to work.(僕は仕事にはいかないよ。)
Sheldon: Oh, just because your career's been stagnant for a few years, that's no reason to give up.(おー、単に君の昇進が数年の間止まってるからだったら、まだ諦めるべきじゃないよ。)
Leonard: Sheldon, I was up all night using the new free-electron laser for my X-ray diffraction experiment.(シェルダン、僕は新しい自由電子レーザーの回折実験で徹夜したんだ。)
Sheldon: Did the laser accidentally burn out your retinas?(そのレーザーで目を焼いちゃったの?)
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Then you can drive. Let's go.(じゃあ運転できるよ、さあ行こう。)
Leonard: Didn't I tell you I'd be working nights, and that you'd have to make other arrangements.(徹夜で仕事したって言ったろ?他の方法を当たるべきだ。)
Sheldon: You did.(君が徹夜したんだ。)
Leonard: And?(それで?)
Sheldon: I didn't. Let's go.(僕は徹夜してない。さあ行こう。)
Leonard: Goodnight, Sheldon.(おやすみ、シェルダン。)
Sheldon: But how am I going to get to work?(でも僕はどうやって仕事に行けばいい?)
Leonard: Take the bus.
Sheldon: I can't take the bus any more. They don't have seatbelts. And they won't let you lash yourself to the seat with bungee cords.(僕にはもうバスは使えない。シートベルトないし、伸縮ロープでシートに固定させてくれないし。)
Leonard: You tried to lash yourself to the seat with bungee cords?(君は伸縮ロープで自分をシートに固定しようとしたのか?)
Sheldon: I didn't try, I succeeded. For some reason it alarmed the other passengers and I was asked to de-bus.(固定しようとしたんじゃなくて固定したんだ。なぜかそれで他の乗客が驚いて、僕はバスを降ろされたんだ。)
Leonard: Oh, you're a big boy, you'll figure it out.(君は大人なんだから、自分でなんとかしてよ。)
Sheldon: Don't talk to me like I'm a child. Now, take me to return my star wars sheets!(子供扱いしないでくれ。スター・ウォーズ・シーツ返しに連れてってよ!)

[Outside Penny's apartment]
Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny, (knock, knock, knock) Penny, (knock, knock, knock) Penny…
Penny: (opening door) Sheldon, what is it?
Sheldon: Leonard's asleep.(レナードは寝てる。)
Penny: Thanks for the update (更新してくれてありがとう。)
(Penny begins to close the door.)
Sheldon: No, wait. You have to drive me to work.(ちがうよ、待って。君は僕を仕事場まで乗せてってくれなきゃならないんだ。)
Penny: Yeah, uh, I really don't think I do.(いいえ、全くそう思わないわ。)
Sheldon: But I don't drive, and I can't take the bus.(でも僕は運転はしないし、バスにも乗らない。)
Penny: Yeah, honey, you'll be fine as long as you don't do that bungee cord thing, okay?(そうね、あなたはあの伸縮ロープを使わなければ大丈夫よ。)
Sheldon: Penny. Didn't you recently state that you and I are friends?(ペニー、君は最近君と僕は友達だって言わなかったかい?)
Penny: Yes, Sheldon, we are friends.(ええ、シェルダン、私たちは友達よ。)
Sheldon: Then I hereby invoke what I'm given to understand is an integral part of the implied covenant of friendship. The favour.(じゃあ、僕はその意味するところを理解するために、ここに友情が含蓄する誓約の統合を嘆願する。それは親切だ。)
Penny: Oh, dear God.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was interrupting your morning prayers. When you're done, we'll go.(ごめん、君の朝のお祈りを中断させてるのに気がつかなかった。それがすんだら出かけよう。)

[Inside Penny's car]
Sheldon: Thank you for driving me to work.
Penny: You know this is my day off, Sheldon.(あのね、今日は私お休みなの。)
Sheldon: Oh, good. I'm not keeping you from anything. Your check engine light is on.(おー、それは良かった。僕は君を拘束するつもりはないよ。エンジンの検査ライトがついてるよ。)
Penny: Mm-hmm.
Sheldon: Typically that's an indicator. To, you know, check your engine.(それは典型的な指示機、つまり、エンジンを検査するための。)
Penny: It's fine, it's been on for, like, a month.(大丈夫、一月前から点いてるんだから。)
Sheldon: Well, actually, that would be all the more reason to, you know, check your engine.(えーと、実際、それならなお一層エンジン検査しなきゃ。)
Penny: Sheldon, it's fine.(シェルダン、大丈夫よ。)
Sheldon: If it were fine, the light wouldn't be on. That's why the manufacturer installed that light, to let you know it's not fine.(もしも大丈夫まらライトは点かないはずだ。だからメーカーはライトを備えたんだ、君に大丈夫じゃないことを知らせるためにさ。)
Penny: Uh, maybe the light's broken.(うー、多分ライトが壊れてるのよ。)
Sheldon: Is there a "check the check engine light light"? (エンジン点検ライトの点検ライトはあるかい?)
(Penny takes a drink of coffee)
Sheldon: O-o-o-oh!
Penny: What?
Sheldon: Studies have shown that performing tasks such as eating, talking on a cell phone or drinking coffee while driving reduces one's reaction time by the same factor as an ounce of alcohol.(運転中に食べたり、携帯で話したり、コーヒーを飲んだりするのはアルコール摂取と同じくらい反応時間を遅らせるって調査結果があるよ。)
Penny: Do you have any alcohol?(アルコール持ってんの?)
Sheldon: Of course not.
Penny: Too bad.
Sheldon: You're going up Euclid Avenue?(君はユークリッド通りを通るの?)
Penny: Mm-hmm.
Sheldon: Leonard takes Los Robles Avenue.(レナードはロス・ロブルズ通りを通るよ。)
Penny: Well, good for Leonard.
Sheldon: Euclid Avenue is shorter as the crow flies, but it has speed bumps, which appreciably increase point-to-point drive time, making it the less efficient choice. But you have the conn. Of course, if you're not going to slow down for the speed bumps, I withdraw my previous objection. Here's a fun question. Do you know what the most common street name is?(ユークリッド通りは直線距離では近い、でもスピード・バンプが2地点間の走行時間をかなり増加させるから、効率的な選択肢でなくなる。でも操縦指揮権は君にある。もちろん、君がスピード・バンプで速度を緩めなければ、僕はさっきの反対意見を撤回するよ。面白い質問がある。一番多い通り名を知ってる?)
Penny: No.
Sheldon: The answer's tricky. It's Second Street. You see, you'd think it would be First Street, but in most towns, First Street eventually gets renamed to something else, you know, like Main Street, Broad Street, Michigan Avenue. Leonard and I often use our commute time to exercise our minds with brain-teasers like that. We also play games. Would you like to play one?(答えは意外にも、第二通りさ。わかる?普通は第一通りと思うけど、ほとんどの街で第一通りは結局はほかの名前に付け替えられて、本町通り、大通りとかミシガン通りみたいにね。レナードと僕はしばしば通勤時間をこんな風にクイズで脳鍛錬してるのさ。ゲ-ムもするよ。何かやってみるかい?)
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Oh, come on, it's fun. Ooh! Another bump. Okay. I'll say an element, and uh, you say an element whose name starts with the last letter of the one I said, okay? I'll start. Helium. Now, you could say Mercury. That would give me a Y. Ooh. Very clever, that's a tough one. So I go Ytterbium, which gets you back to M. So you go Molybdenum, and I say Magnesium, you say Manganese, and I say Europium, and, and you're left with Mendelevium, and there are no more M's because I believe that Meitnerium should still be called Ekairidium, so congratulations, you win. Do you wanna go again?(おー、なんで、楽しいよ。おー、も一つバンプ。オーケー、僕が元素名を言うから、君は僕が言った元素の最後のアルファベットから始まる元素名を言うんだ。いいかい?僕から始めるよ。ヘリウム。そこで君はマーキュリー(水銀)って言うんだ。最後はYだから、おー、賢いね、難しいよ。それじゃ僕はイッテルビウムって言うよ、それって君にMを返すんだ。それで君はモリブデンって言って、僕がマグネシウムって言うと、君はマンガンって言うんだ。次に僕がユーロピウムで、きみがメンデレビウムっていうと、もうMで始まる元素はない、なぜならマイトネリウムはまだエカイリディウムって呼ばれてるから、つまり、おめでとう、君の勝ちだ。もう一回行くかい?)
Penny: How about we just have a little quiet time now?(しばらく静かな時間を持てない?)
Sheldon: All right. Hmm, huh, I'm sorry, I'm finding your reckless nonchalance regarding the check-engine light to be very troubling.(わかった、ふーむ、ごめん、エンジン点検ライトに関する君の向こう見ずなお気楽さが問題を起こすって気付いたよ。)
Penny: (Pulling over) Get out.(降りて。)
Sheldon: Well, I have to tell you that while I do have a theoretical understanding of the workings of an internal combustion engine, I'm not sure I'm capable of performing diagnostics.(えーと、僕は内燃エンジンの動作について理論的に理解してるけど、診断できるかどうか確信持てないよ。)
Penny: I said, get out.(降りてって言ったでしょ。)
Sheldon: Okay. I'll give it a shot. (オーケー、やってみるよ。)
(Sheldon gets out. Penny drives away.)

[The university cafeteria]
(Sheldon enters.)
Sheldon: Oh, Leonard, there you are, I'm ready to go home.(おー、レナード、ここに居た。変える用意できたよ。)
Leonard: I just got here.(僕は今ここに着いたところだ。)
Sheldon: Good, perfect timing.(すごい、完璧なタイミングだ。)
Leonard: Sheldon, I told you, I only have access to the free-electron laser at night. I can't drive you for the next few weeks.(シェルだ、君に言ったけど、僕が自由電子レーザーを自由に使えるのは夜だけなんだ。)
Sheldon: No, you said you couldn't drive me to work, this is from work.(違うよ、君は僕に仕事に行く時送れないって言ったんだ。今は仕事からの帰りだ。)
Leonard: Howard, help me out here.(ハワード、この状況から助け出してくれ。)
Howard: No, just for the fun of it, I'm gonna take his side.(いや、面白半分だけど、僕は彼の味方だ。)
Sheldon: Now, how do you propose I get home?(じゃあ、僕にどうやって帰れって言うんだ?)
Leonard: How did you get here in the first place?(第一にどうやってここに来たのさ?)
Sheldon: Penny. But I sense that's no longer an option.(ペニーだ。でももう頼めないと思う。)
Leonard: Look, I need to get to the laser lab, you're just going to have to find someone else to take you home.(僕はレーザー研究室に行かなきゃ。君は誰か家まで連れてってくれる人を見つけろよ。)
Howard: Oh damn, I picked the wrong side.(おー、くそ、間違った方についちまった。)

[Howard's motor scooter]
(Howard is driving, Sheldon is on the back clutching him for dear life and screaming.)
Sheldon: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Oh God, not Euclid Avenue! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

[Raj's car]
Raj: Why did Howard leave you in the middle of the road anyway?(どうしてハワードは君を道の真ん中で降ろしたんだ?)
Sheldon: We had a difference of opinion.(僕らは意見が違ったんだ。)
Raj: Over what?(何に関して?)
Sheldon: Whether or not he was trying to kill me. For the record, I maintain he was. Where are you going?(彼が僕を殺そうとしたかどうかでね。はっきりさせておくけど、彼は殺そうとしたって断言するよ。どこへ行くの?)
Raj: I'm taking you home.(君を家に連れていくのさ。)
Sheldon: Oh, but I'm not going home. It's Wednesday, Wednesday is new comic book day, we have to go to the comic book store. And then we have to stop at Soup Plantation, it's creamy tomato soup day, and Radio Shack, there's a sale on triple-A batteries. Plus, we have to go to Pottery Barn and return my Star Wars sheets.(おー、でも僕は家にはいかないよ。今日は水曜だ。水曜日は新しい漫画の出る日だ。僕らは漫画書店に行かなきゃ。それからスープ・プランテーションによって、クリーミーなトマトスープの日だ、それからラジオ・シャックに寄って、3A電池の安売りの日だ。加えて、ポタリー・バーンにも寄って、スター・ウォーズ・シーツを返さらなきゃ。)
Raj: I have a better idea.(もっといい案があるよ。)
Sheldon: You want to go to pottery barn first?(最初にポタリー・バーンに行くの?)

[Penny's apartment]
(Penny opens the door, Sheldon is stood outside with his Star Wars sheets.)
Sheldon: Can you drive me to Pottery Barn? (ポタリー・バーンまで送ってくれない?)
(Penny closes the door)
Sheldon: Maybe if I turn off the night-light, I can keep the sheets.(多分、夜間灯を消せばシーツを使えるよ。)

[The apartment]
(Sheldon enters from the bedroom area. Everyone else is present.)
Sheldon: Good morning.
All: Good morning.
Leonard: Sheldon, sit down.
Sheldon: She's in my spot. Don't look at me like that, everybody knows that my spot.(彼女は僕の席に座ってる。そんな風に僕を見ないで、みんな僕の席を知ってるよ。)
Penny: Sheldon, you know that we care about you?(シェルダン、私たちがあなたのこと気にかけてるの知ってる?)
Howard: And it's because we care about you that we've decided we have to speak up.(そして、君にはっきり言おうって決めたのは君のこと気にかけてるからだよ。)
Penny: You're hurting the people around you, sweetie.(あなたは周りの人を傷つけてるわ。)
Leonard: So we made you an appointment, and we want you to keep it.(それで僕らは君の予約を取ったから、従ってほしいんだ。)
Sheldon: Department of motor vehicles new driver handbook? But I don't have a problem.(自動車局新運転ハンドブック?でも僕は困ってないよ。)
Leonard: Sheldon, you need to learn how to drive.(シェルダン、君は運転を習う必要がある。)
Howard: This madness has to stop.(この愚の骨頂は止めなきゃ。)
Leonard: Penny's taking you to the DMV, I'm going to bed.(ペニーが君をDMVに連れてくから、僕は寝るよ。)
Sheldon: Why Penny?(どうしてペニーなの?)
Leonard: Because rock breaks scissors, goodnight.(なぜなら、医師は鋏に勝つからさ、お休み。)
Penny: All right, come on Sheldon.(それじゃ、行くよ、シェルダン。)
Sheldon: Hold on, I have one condition.(待って、一つ条件がある。)
Penny: What?
Sheldon: We have to stop at Pottery Barn.(ポタリー・バーンに寄よらなきゃならない。)
Penny: Okay.(オーケー。)
Sheldon: And Radio Shack.(それとラジオ・シャック。)
Penny: Fine.(いいわ。)
Sheldon: And the comic book store.(それに漫画書店。)
Penny: All right! (They leave.)
Howard: Ooh, I want to go to the comic book store. (He leaves.)
Raj: I like comic books.

[The DMV]
Sheldon: I just don't see why I need a driver's license, Albert Einstein never had a driver's license.(どうして僕が運転免許が必要なのかわからない。アルバート・アインシュタインは免許持ってなかった。)
Howard: Yeah, but Albert Einstein didn't make me wet myself at 40 miles an hour.(そうだ、でもアルバート・アインシュタインは時速40マイルで僕を濡らさなかった。)
Penny: Yeah, and I never wanted to kick Albert Einstein in the nuts. You know, I gotta ask, why didn't you just get a license at 16 like everybody else?(そうね、それに私はアルバート・アインシュタインのお尻蹴飛ばしたいとは思わなかったわ。それで、聞きたいんだけど、どうしてあなたは16歳の時に他の人と同じように免許取らなかったの?)
Sheldon: I was otherwise engaged.(僕はほかのことに没頭してたんだ。)
Penny: Doing what?
Sheldon: Examining perturbative amplitudes in n=4 supersymmetric theories leading to a re-examination of the ultraviolet properties of multi-loop n=8 supergravity using modern twistor theory.(現代ツイスター理論を使って、多重ループN=8超重量理論の紫外線特性の再考をするために、N=4の超対称理論の摂動振幅を調べていたんだ。)
Penny: Well, how 'bout when you were 17?(えー、じゃあ17歳のときは?)
(To the person ahead of Sheldon in the queue)
DMV Lady: Take this to the testing area, put your name at the top, sign the bottom, answer the questions, bring it back, next! (これを持ってテスト会場に行って、一番上に名前を書いて、一番下にサインして、質問に答えて持ってきて、次!)(Sheldon moves forward) Application?(申込書は?)
Sheldon: I'm actually more of a theorist.(僕は実際理論派以上だ。)
Howard: The application in your hand, give it to her.(手に持ってる申込書、彼女に渡して。)
Sheldon: Oh.
DMV Lady: Take this to the testing area, put your name at the top, sign the bottom, answer the questions, bring it back, next!(これを持ってテスト会場に行って、一番上に名前を書いて、一番下にサインして、質問に答えて持ってきて、次!)
Sheldon: Excuse me, but I have some concerns about these questions.(失礼、この質問にちょっと懸念があるんですけど。)
DMV Lady: Look at that sign up there.(そこの符号を見て。)
Sheldon: Yes?
DMV Lady: Does it say I give a damn?(配慮するって書いてあるかい?)
Sheldon: No.
DMV Lady: That's because I don't.(なぜならそんなこと配慮しないからさ。)
Sheldon: Just, look, see, this first question makes no sense, how many car lengths should you leave in front of you when driving? There's no possible way to answer that, a car length is not a standardized unit of measure.(ただちょっと、見て、この最初の質問は意味がない、運転する時前方に車何台分空ければよいか?これは解答不能だ、車の長さは標準化された単位じゃない。)
DMV Lady: Look at the sign.(符号を見なさい。)
Penny: Sheldon, it's C, just put down C.(シェルダン、それはCよ、単にCって書いて。)
Sheldon: I don't need your help, Penny.(君の助けは要らないよ、ペニー。)
DMV Lady: Listen to that little girl, honey, put C. Next!(その女の子の言うことを聞きなさい、Cって書いて、次!)
Sheldon: No, no, wait, no, hang on, look at this next question.(違う、違う、待って、次の質問を見て。)
Howard: Sheldon, why are you arguing with the DMV?(シェルダン、どうしてDMVを論争するんだ?)
Sheldon: How else are they going to learn? Look, question 2, when are roadways most slippery? Now, okay, there are three answers, none of which are correct. The correct answer is, when covered by a film of liquid sufficient to reduce the coefficient of static friction between the tire and the road to essentially zero, but not so deep as to introduce a new source of friction.(どうすれば彼らは学習するんだ?質問2を見て。道路がもっとも滑りやすいのはいつか?オーケー、3っつ答えがあるけどどれも正しくない。正解は、タイヤと道路の間の静摩擦を実質的にゼロに低下させるのに十分な液体の膜で覆われた時だけど、新たな摩擦の原因が導入されるほど深くはない。)
DMV Lady: Here's your learner's permit. Go away.(ほら、あんたの仮免許だ、行って。)
Sheldon: But I'm not done. I have many additional concerns about these questions.(でも僕は終わってない。この質問にはまだ多くの懸念がある。)
DMV Lady: Don't make me climb over this counter.(私にこのカウンターを乗り越えさせないで。)
Penny: Come on, let's go.(さ、行こう。)
DMV Lady: Next!
Sheldon: Aced it.(やったね。)

[The apartment]
(Howard is setting up a large kit of high tech equipment.)
Howard: Okay, that's it, let's boot it up.(オーケー、それまで、起動しよう。)
Leonard: Booting.(起動。)
Howard: This is a state-of-the-art simulator. I adapted it from something a friend of mine designed for the army.(これは最新技術のシミュレーターだ。友達が陸軍のために設計したものを適用したんだ。)
Sheldon: Is that why I appear to be in downtown Fallujah*, behind the wheel of an up-armored Humvee**?(だから火器装備ハンヴィーの車輪の後ろがファッルージャの下町みたいに見えるのかい?) *イラクの中部の都市、**High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle(高機動多用途装輪車両)は、M998四輪駆動軽汎用車とその派生型で、1985年からアメリカ軍に配備が始まった軍用車両に対する総称。
Howard: I haven't configured it yet. Let's see… Bradley tank… transport truck… Batmobile…(まだ設定してないよ。えーと、ブラッドリー戦車、輸送トラック、バットマンカー・・・。)
Sheldon: Ooh!
Leonard: No.
Howard: Here we go, red 2006 Ford Taurus on the streets of Pasadena.(それ行け、パサディナの路上の赤の2006年型フォード・トーラスだ。)
Sheldon: (sucking in breath) Hmmmm?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Statistically, red cars are stopped by police far more often than any other colour. I don't want any hassles with the fuzz.(統計的に赤い車は他の色よりもはるかに警官に止められやすいんだ。僕は警官とやり合いたくないよ。)
Howard: Fine, what colour do you want?(わかった、どんな色が欲しいの?)
Sheldon: You know the pale blue of Luke Skywalker's lightsaber, before it was digitally remastered?(つまり、ルーク・スカイウォーカーの電光剣の薄青、デジタルにリマスターする前の?)
Howard: Black it is.(黒だった。)
Leonard: Okay, now, what you want to do first is turn on the ignition and shift into drive.(オーケー、最初にするのは点火スイッチオン、そしてドライブにシフトして。)
Sheldon: I haven't fastened my seat belt yet.(まだシート・ベルト締めてないよ。)
Leonard: Okay, fasten your seat belt.(オーケー、シート・ベルト締めて。)
Sheldon: Click. Now, are there air bags?(クリック、エアバッグ付いてる?)
Leonard: You don't need air bags.(エアバッグは必要ない。)
Sheldon: What if a simulated van rear-ends me?(もしも模擬バンが後ろにぶつかったらどうする?)
Penny: I'll hit you in the face with a pillow.(私があなたの顔を枕でぶったたくわ。)
Leonard: Okay, now shift into drive, pull out slowly into traffic.(オーケー、さあドライブにシフトして、ゆっくり道路に繰り出せ。)
(General panic)
Penny: Oh.
Leonard: Oh.
Howard: Oh.
Leonard: Watch out.
Howard: Oh God!
Leonard: Watch, watch out, watch out for pedestrians!(注意して、注意して、歩行者に注意して!)
Penny: Oh God, wait, slow, hit the brakes, hit the brakes!(オー神様、待って、ゆっくり、ブレーキ踏んで、ブレーキ踏んで!)
(Sounds of car crashing. Penny hits Sheldon in face with pillow.)
Sheldon: Thank you.

[The same]
(Only Sheldon and Leonard are present. Sheldon is practicing. There are sounds of squealing tyres and brakes and general panic and mayhem.)
Sheldon: Sorry… excuse me… my bad… student driver…
Leonard: How did you manage to get on the second floor of the Glendale galleria*?(グレンデール・ガレリアの2階にどうやって行ったの?) *カリフォルニアにあるショッピング・モール.
Sheldon: I don't know. I was on the Pasadena freeway, I missed my exit, flew off the overpass, and one thing led to another.(わからないよ。ぼくはパサディナ高速道路に乗って、出口をミスって、高架道路を飛び降りて、あれこれ起こったんだ。)
Leonard: Maybe you want to give it a rest and try again tomorrow.(多分、少し休んで明日もう一回やったら。)
Sheldon: No. I quit.
(Sheldon stands up. There is more sound of crashing and panic, then animal noises.)
Leonard: Aw, the pet store?
Sheldon: Remind me to compliment Wolowitz on the software, it's amazingly detailed.(ソフトウエアに関してはウォロウィッツに敬意を表するよ、驚くほど詳細だ。)
Leonard: So wait,you're just gonna give up?(待って、諦めるのか?)
Sheldon: No, I'm not giving up, I never give up.(僕は諦めないし、諦めたことはない。)
Leonard: So what is it you're doing?(どうしようとしてるの?)
Sheldon: I'm transcending the situation. I'm clearly too evolved for driving.(僕は状況を超越してるんだ。僕は運転するには明らかに進化しすぎてるんだ。)
Leonard: What does that mean?(それってどういう意味?)
Sheldon: Leonard, have you ever wondered why my little toes and lateral incisors are significantly smaller than the average for someone of my size?(レナード、僕の足の小指と側切歯が僕の他の平均値に比べてどうして極端に小さいか疑問に思ったことない?)
Leonard: I wonder a lot of things about you, Sheldon, but not… not that.(君のこと沢山疑問に思ったけど、シェルダン、それは疑問に思ったことないよ。)
Sheldon: Well, those are indicators that I'm farther along the evolutionary scale than the average human.(実は、あれは僕が普通の人に比べてはるかに進化を遂げている印なんだ。)
Leonard: No kidding.
Sheldon: Well, no, no, I'm not going to go so far as to say that I represent a distinct new stage in humankind, you know, a Homo Novus, if you will, no, that's for anthropologists to decide. But I am convinced that the reason I cannot master the plebeian task of driving is because I'm not meant to.(いや、違う、僕が人類の際立った新しい段階、つまり新人類、を代表してるってことを主張するつもりはない、それは人類学者が決めることだ。でも、運転という庶民の仕事を僕が習得できないのは、僕がそれに向いてないってことだと確信したよ。)
Leonard: Yes, you are, you're meant to learn how to drive. Please learn how to drive!(いや、向いてるよ。お願いだから運転習ってよ。)
Sheldon: No, no. Leonard, I'm meant for greater things, like unraveling the mysteries of the universe, not determining when it's safe to pass a stopped school bus on a country road.(いや、違う、レナード、僕は宇宙の神秘を解き明かすようなもっと偉大なことに向いてるんだ、田舎道に停車中の通学バスを安全に追い越せるのはいつか決めるようなことじゃなくてさ。)
Leonard: It's never safe.(いつだって安全じゃない。)
Sheldon: Yeah, well, I know that now.(そう、今わかったよ。)
Leonard: Fine. Assuming that everything you say is true, how does the biologically superior Homo Novus get to work tomorrow morning?(わかった、君の言うことが全部正しいとして、生物学的に優れた新人類は明日の朝どうやって仕事に行くんだ?)
Sheldon: Homo Novus doesn't know.(新人類は知らない。)
Leonard: Well, hang in there, maybe you'll evolve into something with wings.(そこにこだわるなら、君は多分翼のある生物に進化するだろう。)

[A corridor in the university]
(Sheldon emerges from his office in a shower cap and bathrobe. The others are turning the corner.)
Sheldon: Good morning, gentlemen.
Leonard: Hey.
Raj: Good morning. Is there some new kind of casual Friday I don't know about?(おはよう、僕の知らない新しいカジュアル金曜があるのかい?)
Leonard: No, he lives here now.(ちがうよ、彼はここに住んでるんだ。)
Howard: Really? Why?
Leonard: Well, since he won't take the bus and he's too evolved to drive, he decided it would be easier to just sleep in his office and shower in the radiation lab until I'm finished with my experiment.(彼はバスを使わないし、運転するには進化しすぎてるから、僕の実験が終わるまで、オフィスで睡眠して、放射線ラボでシャワーを浴びる方が簡単だって決めたんだ。)
Raj: But you finished your experiment a week ago.(でも君は1週間前に実験を終えたじゃないか。)
Leonard: Yep

[The cafeteria late at night]
(Two cleaning ladies enter and find a plate with toast crusts.)[二人の清掃婦が入ってきてトーストの耳の乗った皿を見つける。]
Cleaning Lady 1: (in Spanish, subtitles) Oh my God, again?
Cleaning Lady 2: It must be rats.
Cleaning Lady 1: Rats don't make toast and cut off the crust.(ネズミはトースト焼いたり、パンの耳を切り落としたりしないよ。)
(They are startled by a noise. One of them drops the plate, it smashes on the floor. Sheldon is by the drink machine, he is wearing a cloak with a hood)[彼らは物音に驚く。一人が皿を床に落として割る。シェルダンがフード付き外套を着て飲料自販機のそばに立っている。]
Sheldon: You saw nothing! (君は何も見なかった!)
(Sweeps hood around himself and vanishes through cafeteria door.)

Story by Bill Prady & Steven Molaro
Teleplay by Lee Aronsohn & Dave Goetsch
Japanese interpretaion by Norih

Copyright (C) 2017 Methodea LLC