When Penny locks herself out of the apartment, she comes to hang out with Sheldon as he plays Age of Conan**. Penny, frustrated by her recent failures in life, soon plays and becomes addicted to Conan.The guys try to get back the old Penny by setting her up on a blind date through a dating service which fails. As Penny becomes more and more addicted, she eventually accepts an online virtual date from Wolowitz and realizes how pathetic she becomes and quits.
(最近の生活の不首尾から落ち込んでいた上、鍵のトラブルでアパートを閉め出されたペニーは、蛮人コナンのゲームをプレー中のシェルダンと時を過ごし、オン･ライン・ゲームにはまり中毒となる。あまりの熱中に、シェルダンはペニーをゲームから引き離そうとデート・サービスをあっせんするも失敗。ますますのめりこむペニーは、オン・ラインから申し込むハワードの仮想デートに応じ、自分がいかにみじめに落ちぶれていたか気が付き．．．。) *昇華；［精神分析］衝動的、本能的エネルギーが、学問、芸術、宗教などの社会的に受容可能な活動に置きかえられること, **ロバート・E・ハワードの、有史以前のハイボリア時代の蛮人コナンを主人公とした一連のヒロイック・アドベンチャー小説『英雄コナン』を、ノルウェーのFuncomがオン・ライン・ロール・プレイング・ゲームにしたもの。日本の『名探偵コナン』とは無関係。
Word Review
[The apartment]
(Sheldon is on the sofa, using his laptop. He is wearing a headset.) Sheldon: Fellow warriors, this is Sheldor the Conqueror. We are about to enter Axel's fortress. Now this is a long run, so let's do another bladder check. Alright Barry, we'll wait for you again, but you really should see a doctor. (戦士たちよ、私は征服者シェルダンだ。我々はまさにアクセルの要塞に入らん。これは長期戦だ、今一度膀胱のチェックをしておこう。さあバリー、我々は再び君を待っている、しかし君は本当に医者に診てもらった方がいい。)(There is banging at the door.) Sheldor is AFK*. (シェルダンはAFK。) *ネット用語；Away From Keyboard＝「席を外します」
(Sheldon goes out to find Penny having trouble getting into her apartment.) Sheldon: Penny, are you experiencing some sort of difficulty?(ペニー、何か困った問題でもあるの？) Penny: Yes, I can't get my stupid door open.(そうなの、私のあほドアがあかないのよ。) Sheldon: You appear to have put your car key in the door lock, are you aware of that?(君は車のキーをドアのカギ穴に押し込んでるように思えるけど、わかってる？) Penny: Yeah! Sheldon: Alright then.
(Sheldon turns to return inside. One of the grocery bags Penny is holding falls to the floor spilling groceries.) Penny: Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit. Sheldon: Would it be possible for you to do this a little more quietly?(できたらもう少し静かにしてくれないか？) Penny: I can't get the damned key out.(この駄目キーが抜けないのよ。) Sheldon: Well that's not surprising. That Baldwin lock on your door uses traditional edge mounted cylinders, whereas the key for your Volkswagon uses a centre cylinder system.(さもありなんだね。君のドアのボールドウィン鍵は従来のエッジ装着筒方式を取ってるけど、君のフォルクス・ワーゲンは中心筒方式だからね。) Penny: Thankyou, Sheldon. Sheldon: You're welcome. Point of inquiry, why did you put your car key in the door lock?(どういたしまして、聞きたいんだけど、どうして車のキーをドアに入れたの？) Penny: Why? I'll tell you why. Because today I had an audition, it took me two hours to get there, I waited an hour for my turn, and before I could even start they told me I looked too Midwest for the part. Too Midwest? What the hell does that even mean?(どうして？言ってあげるわ。今日はオーディションがあって、着くまでに2時間かかって私の番まで1時間待って、それで私がしゃべりだす前に、彼らはその役には私が中西部的すぎるって言ったの。中西部的？それっていったいどういう意味？) Sheldon: Well, the American Midwest was mostly settled by Scandinavian and Germanic peoples who, well they have a characteristic facial bone structure….(えーと、アメリカの中西部には大部分スカンジナビア人とドイツ人が定住していて、つまり彼らは特徴的な顔面骨格構造を持ってる．．．。) Penny: I know what it means, Sheldon! God, you know, I have been in L.A. for almost two years now, and I haven't got a single acting job, I have accomplished nothing, haven't gotten a raise at work, haven't even had sex in six months, and just now when I was walking up those stairs a fly flew in my mouth and I ate it.(どういう意味かは知ってるわ、シェルダン。なんてこと、私L.A.にもう2年もいるのよ、でもまだ一度も俳優の仕事してないわ、なにも成し遂げてないし、給料も上げてもらってないし、セックスさえ6か月もしてないわ。それにたった今、そこの階段を上ってくるときハエが口の中に入って、それ食べちゃったの。) Sheldon: Well, actually, insects are a dietary staple in many cultures, they're almost pure protein.(えーと、実際昆虫はいろんな文化で主食にされてて、ほとんど純粋なたんぱく質だよ。)
(Penny is picking up the bag she has just repacked, whereupon the bottom falls out and the groceries fall to the floor again) Penny: Oh, sonofabitch!(おー、くそっ！) Sheldon: I believe the condensation on your frozen foods weakened the structural integrity of the bag. But returning to your key conundrum, perhaps you should call a locksmith and have him open the door for you.(冷凍食品への結露がその袋の構造的な健全性を弱めたんだと思うよ。でも君の鍵の問題に戻るけど、君は錠前屋に電話して開けてもらうべきだよ。) Penny: I did, and he said he'll get here when he gets here.(電話したわ、それで彼はここに着いた時が着く時だって言うのよ。) Sheldon: And you're frustrated because he phrased his reply in the form of a meaningless tautology?(それで君は彼が意味のない繰り返し言葉で返答したことでいら立ってるのかい？) Penny: No! I am frustrated because I am a failure at everything and my breath smells like fly. (ちがう！私は全てに失敗して、息がハエみたいな臭いがするからいら立ってるのよ。)(Bursts into tears.) Sheldon: There there. (わかったわかった。)(Reluctantly) Would you prefer to wait in our apartment?(僕らの部屋で待つかい？) Penny: No Sheldon, I'd rather sit on this freezing cold floor sobbing like a three year-old. (いいえ、シェルダン。私はこの凍りつく冷たい床に座って、3歳の子みたいに泣いてるわ。) Sheldon: Alright then.
(Sheldon turns to go inside again.) Penny: For God's sake!
(Penny stomps into apartment.) Sheldon: Just when I think I've gotten the hang of sarcasm.(まさに皮肉の趣旨がわかったと思ったところだ。)
[Inside the apartment] Sheldon: Make yourself comfortable. (楽にして。)(Sits in Sheldon's place.) Not there. (そこじゃなく。)
(Penny sits on other end of sofa. Puts feet on table. Sheldon looks disapprovingly. Removes feet from table. Sheldon sits and replaces headset.) Sheldon: Sheldor is back online.(シェルダンは接続に復帰。) Penny: Sheldor? Sheldon: The Conqueror. Penny: What are you doing? Sheldon: AFK. I'm playing Age of Conan, an online multiplayer game set in the universe of Robert E. Howard's Conan the Barbarian.(AFK。『英雄コナン』をプレイ中さ、ロバート・E・ハワードの『蛮人コナン』の世界のオン・ラインの複数参加型ゲームだ。) Penny: Oh. Sheldon: Sheldor, back online. Penny: What's AFK? Sheldon: AFK. Away from keyboard.(「席を外します」さ。) Penny: OIC. Sheldon: What does that stand for?(それって何の略？) Penny: Oh, I see? Sheldon: Yes, but what does it stand for?
[The stairwell]
(Leonard arrives and sees the spilled groceries. A cat is lapping at a spilled pot of ice-cream. Cut to inside. Penny now has the laptop, Sheldon is instructing her.) Sheldon: Now just click on the enchanted boots to put them on.(さあ、魔法のブーツのを履くためにとりあえずその上をクリックして。) Penny: Oh, I don't know. Can I see them in another colour?(おー、わかんないけど、それ別の色で見れる？) Sheldon: Just click on them. Congratulations, you are now a level three warrior.(単にクリックして。おめでとう。君はレベル3の戦士だ。) Leonard: What's going on?(何してるの？) Penny: Leonard, guess what, I'm a level three warrior.(レナード、何だと思う？私レベル3の戦士よ。) Leonard: Great, you know there are groceries outside of your apartment?(すごいね、でも日用品が君の部屋の外にあるよ。) Penny: Yeah yeah yeah, shhh! Leonard: I only bring it up because your ice-cream is melting and it's starting to attract wildlife.(僕が拾ってあげたよ、だってアイスクリームが溶けて野生生物を引き寄せ始めてたから。) Penny: Uh-huh, yeah, do I stay in the jungle or go towards the beach?(ふー、そう、私ジャングルにとどまるべきそれとも海岸に向かうべき？) Sheldon: It doesn't matter, right now you're looking for treasure.(それは問題じゃない、君は今宝物を探してるんだ。) Penny: Okay.
(Leonard motions for Sheldon to talk in the kitchen.) Penny: Wait, wait, where are you going? Sheldon: You're okay, if you run into crocodiles just kick them with your boots.(君は大丈夫、もしワニに出くわしたら君のブーツで蹴飛ばせばいい。) Leonard: Want to catch me up? Sheldon: Well let's see, uh, she attempted to open her apartment with her car key, because her face is overly Midwestern, um, she hasn't had sex in six months, and she ate a fly.(いいかい、彼女の顔が中西部的すぎて、6か月もセックスしてなくて、ハエを食べちゃったから、彼女は車のキーでアパートのドアを開けようとしたんだ。) Leonard: Uh-huh. Seriously, six months?(ええ？マジで6か月も？) Penny: Oh my God, a treasure chest, I'm rich!(あらまあ、宝物でいっぱいの箱、私お金持ちだわ。) Sheldon: Level three and she thinks she's rich! What a noob*.(レベル3で、彼女はお金持ちだと思ってる。なんて初心者なんだ。) *[インターネット・スラング] someone is new to a game, concept, or idea; implying a lack of experience.
[The apartment]
(Raj is pouring a white liquid into the main dish of a stereo speaker covered in cling film.) Raj: Okay, we're all set.(オーケー、準備できた。) Howard: Let her rip.(始めよう。)
(Leonard turns on stereo with a remote. Rhythmic bass-heavy music plays. The liquid begins dancing on the speaker.) Penny: (entering, carrying a laptop) Hi! Leonard: Hey, check it out, it's just corn starch and water.(ヘイ、これ見てみなよ、それ只のトウモロコシのでんぷんと水なんだぜ。) Sheldon: They make up a non-Newtonian fluid which is liquid, but solid under the percussive action of the speaker.(彼らは液体だけどスピーカーの震度で固体になる非ニュートン流体を作り上げたんだ。) Howard: That's what makes it get all funky.(それがそいつを風変りにしてるんだ。) Penny: Yeah, okay. Listen, I need to talk to Sheldon. Howard: (after Raj whispers in his ear) No, that's what she said, Sheldon. Penny: Okay, look, I bought the game, and I've been exploring the Island of Tordage but I can't figure out how to get past the guard captain.(オーケー、ねえ、私ゲームを買ったの、それでトルダージの島を探検してたんだけど、どうやって護衛の隊長を突破するかわからないの。) Sheldon: Do you have the enchanted sword?(魔法の剣を持ってる？) Penny: No, no, I've a bronze dagger.(いいえ、青銅の短剣は持ってるわ。) Sheldon: You can't slay the guard captain with a bronze dagger, my Lord it's like the car key in your apartment door all over again.(君は短剣では護衛の隊長を殺害できない、ああ、それはまるでアパートのカギ穴に車のキーを差し込んだようなもんだ。) Penny: Alright, alright, how do I get the sword?(わかった、わかった、どうやって剣を手に入れるの？) Sheldon: Well, have you been to the Temple of Mithra?(えーと、君はミズラ寺院に行ったことあるかい？) Penny: Is that the place on the hill with the weird priests in front of it?(それって前に変な司祭がいる丘の上にある場所？) Sheldon: No, no, no, it's… oh for God's sakes, gimme. (Takes laptop.) Penny: Thank you, I really appreciate this. Sheldon: You're going to have to learn to do these things for yourself, Penny.(君はこういうのどうするか自分で習うんだよ、ペニー。) Penny: Don't patronise me, just get the sword.(恩着せがましくしないで、ただ剣を手に入れて。) Howard: What the frak*? *fuckの婉曲的言い方"Battlestar Galactica (TV series)”で最初にfrackとして使われ、後に4文字のfrakとなった Leonard: Beats me. They were playing all last night too.(良く分からない。彼らは昨晩もずっとプレイしてたんだ。) Raj: It's like some kind of weird comic book crossover.(それって一種の奇妙な漫画の混交みたいだね。) Howard: Like if Hulk were dating Peppermint Patty*.(超人ハルクがぺパミント・パティーとデートしてるみたいな。) *スヌーピーやチャリー・ブラウンが登場するアメリカの漫画『ピーナッツ』に出てくる女の子 Raj: I always thought Peppermint Patty was a lesbian.(僕はいつもぺパーミント・パティーがレズだと思ってた。) Leonard: No, that's Marcie*. Peppermint Patty's just athletic.(いや、それはマーシーだ。ぺパーミント・パティーは単にたくましいだけだよ。) *ぺパーミント・パティーの親友 Sheldon: There you go, one enchanted sword.(ほら、魔法の剣だ。) Penny: Right, gimme, gimme, gimme, I want to kill the guard captain. (Leaves). Sheldon: That girl needs to get a life.
[Sheldon's bedroom]
(There is a knock on the door. Penny enters.) Penny: (whispering) Sheldon. (Sing-song) Shel-don. Sheldon: Danger, danger. Penny: No danger, look, it's just me, Penny, look, I got to level 25 and reached Purple Lotus Swamp, right?(危なくない、ほら、私、ペニーよ。見て、レベル25になって紫睡蓮の湿地に着いたわ。) Sheldon: You're in my bedroom. Penny: Yeah. Leonard gave me an emergency key.(そう、レナードが緊急用のカギをくれたのよ。) Sheldon: People can't be in my bedroom.(人は僕の部屋に入れないことになってる。) Penny: Okay, well can we go talk in the living room?(オーケー、じゃあ居間で話す？) Sheldon: I'm not wearing pyjama bottoms.(僕はパジャマのズボンをはいてない。) Penny: Why not? Sheldon: I spilled grape juice.(グレープ・ジュースをこぼしたからさ。) Penny: Well, wear different pyjamas.(じゃあ、別のパジャマを着れば。) Sheldon: I can't wear different pyjamas, these are my Monday pyjamas. Penny, people cannot be in my bedroom.(僕は別のパジャマを着ない、僕には月曜なパジャマがあるからさ。ペニー、人は僕の部屋に入れないことになってる。) Penny: Okay, just tell me, is it too soon to join a quest to the Black Castle?(オーケー、これだけ言って、ブラック・キャッスルへの誘いに乗るのは早すぎる？) Sheldon: You were invited on a quest to the Black Castle?(君はブラック・キャッスルへの誘いがあったのか？) Penny: Yeah, yeah, by some guys in Budapest, I'm just not sure it's the right move for my character.(そうなの、ブダペストの人から、私のキャラクタにとって正しい行動かわからなくて。) Sheldon: Of course it's not, you're only a level 25, the Hungarians are just using you for dragon fodder.(もちろん駄目だよ、君はレベル25に過ぎない。ハンガリー人は単に君をドラゴンの餌にしようとしてるに過ぎない。) Penny: Really? Boy, you'd think you could trust a horde of Hungarian barbarians.(本当？あなたはハンガリーの蛮人の群れを信じられるって考えるかもしれないのに。)
[Leonard's bedroom] Sheldon: (off) Please Penny, enough, I have to sleep.(お願いだ、ペニー、十分だ、僕は寝なきゃいけないんだ。) Penny: (off) Okay, well you were great, thanks. (オーケー、あなたは素晴らしかったわ、ありがとう。)(Comes out door) Oh, hey Leonard, listen, don't got in Sheldon's room, he's not wearing bottoms.(オー、ヘイ、レナード、ねえ、シェルダンの部屋に入っちゃだめよ。彼は下の方はいてないから。) Leonard: (knocking on door) Sheldon, you want to catch me up again?(シェルダン、君はまた僕に追いつきたいのかい？)
[Dr Gablehauser's office]
(Sheldon and Leslie are standing across the desk.） Gablehauser: People, I am very busy today. Sheldon: I realise that Dr Gablehauser but it is your job, as head of the department, to mediate all inter-departmental disputes. University policy manual chapter four, subsection two, mediation of inter-departmental disputes.(承知してます、でも学科内の論争を調停するのは学科長としてのあなたの仕事です。大学の方針、4章2項学科内の論争の調停。) Gablehauser: Fine. Dr Winkle, what colourful name did you call Dr Cooper this time?(わかった、ウィンクル博士、今回はどんな華やかな言い方でクーパー博士を呼んだんですか？) Leslie: Dr Dumbass.(おバカ博士。) Gablehauser: Dr Cooper, Dr Winkle apologises.(クーパー博士、ウィンクル博士は謝っています。) Sheldon: No she doesn't. Leslie: No I don't. Sheldon: Here's the problem. I was clearly signed up to use the mainframe in Buckman 204, and Dr Winkle just wantonly ripped the sign-up sheet off the wall.(一つ問題があります。私は明らかにメイン・フレーム・コンピュータ、バックマン204の予約をしましたが、ウィンクル博士は理不尽にも私の予約書を壁からはがしたんです。) Leslie: It wasn't even an official sign-up sheet. He printed it himself and he put his name down in every slot for the next six months.(それは正式な予約書ではありませんでした。彼は自分でプリントして、今後6カ月の枠に全部支分の名前を記入したんです。) Sheldon: If it is a crime to ensure that the universities resources are not being squandered chasing sub-atomic wild geese then I plead guilty. (大学の設備が亜原子の野生の鴨を追いかけることに浪費されてないことを確認することが罪だとすれば、僕は罪を認めるよ。)
(His phone rings.) Sheldon: signed up Oh, Penny! Gablehauser: You need to get that Dr Cooper? Sheldon: God, no. Leslie: Well don't turn it off, you might miss your call from the Nobel committee letting you know you've been nominated as dumbass laureate of the year.(それ切らないで、ノーベル委員会から今年の「おバカ賞」にノミネートされたって連絡を受け損なうかもしれないよ。) Sheldon: Oh yeah, well, you wouldn't even be nominated. Dr Gablehauser, I have a series of important multi-bit calculations and simulations to run. All she's doing is reducing irrelevant data and making a mock…(おー、そうだ、君はノミネートさえされないよ。ゲーブルハウザー博士、僕には重要なマルチ・ビット計算のシリーズと実行すべきシミュレーションがあります。彼女がやってることは縮小する無関係のデータともの真似の．．．。) Gablehauser: (as phone rings) Excuse me. Gablehauser. (Holding phone out to Sheldon) It's for you. Sheldon: Hello. Penny, this is not a good time. No, I told you, you're not prepared for the Sanctum of Burning Souls. You need to be in a group of at least five for that quest, and one should be a level 35 healer. Penny, I can't log on and help you. We'll talk when I get home. (もしもし、ペニー、今はまずいんだ。違う、僕が言ったろ、君にはバーニング・ソウルのサンクタムはまだ無理だ。君はその要求に対しては少なくともグループ5にいて、そしてレベル35のヒーラーでなきゃならない。ペニー、僕はログ・オンしてきみを助けることはできない。家に帰ったら話すよ。)
(Sheldon putsphone down) Sheldon: I'm not getting the computing time, am I?(僕は計算機の時間とれないんですか?) Leslie: Dumbass.(ばーか。)
[The apartment]
(Sheldon enters.) Sheldon: Leonard, you have to do something about Penny. She is interfering with my sleep, she's interfering with my work, and if I had another significant aspect of my life, I'm sure she'd be interfering with that too.(レナード、君はペニーをどうにかしなきゃいけない。彼女は僕の睡眠を妨害して、僕の仕事を妨害して、もし僕の生活の別の重要な局面があればそれも妨害するに違いない。) Leonard: Why should I do something, you're the one who introduced her to online gaming.(どうして僕が何かしなきゃいけないんだ？彼女をオン・ライン・ゲームに引き込んだのは君だろ。) Sheldon: Well, yes, but you're the one who said hello to her when she moved in. If you'd simply restrained yourself none of this would be happening.(えーと、そうだけど、でも彼女が引っ越してきたときにこんにちはって言ったのは君だ。もし君が自重してたらこんなことは起こらなったんだ。) Leonard: Why don't you just tell her to leave you alone.(単に僕に付きまとうなって言えばいいのに。) Sheldon: I did. I told her, I texted her, I sent out a very emphatic twitter. I even changed my facebook status to Sheldon Cooper wishes Penny would leave him alone. I don't know what else to do.(言ったよ。メールもしたし。かなりきつくツイッターしたよ。僕はフェイスブックのステイタスを、シェルダン・クーパーはペニーから離れたいって変えさえしたんだ。僕は他にどうすればいいかわからないよ。) Leonard: Well, what am I supposed to do?(それで、僕は何をすることになってるんだ？) Sheldon: I don't know, but if you don't figure something out, I warn you I shall become very difficult to live with.(知らないよ。でも、君がどうすればいいか考えつかなきゃ、君と一緒に住むのは難しくなるよ。) Leonard: You mean, up until now we've been experiencing the happy funtime Sheldon?(つまり、今までは僕らはとても楽しい時を過ごしてきたって言いたいのか?) Sheldon: Yes. Leonard: I'll go talk to her.
[Penny's apartment]
(Penny is on her laptop and talking into a headset.) Penny: No, Fritz, I need you on my flank. No, I don't know German. Flankenzie, flankenzie!(違う、フリッツ、私はあなたを側面に欲しいの。違うドイツ人なんて知らない。フランケンジー、フランケンジー。) Leonard: (knocking and entering) Hey Penny. Penny: Busy. Leonard: Yeah, I see that. Shouldn't you be at work?(ああ、わかった、仕事行かなくていいの？) Penny: I don't work on Mondays.(私月曜は仕事なしよ。) Leonard: It's Thursday. Listen, Penny.(今日は木曜だ、いいかいペニー。) Penny: Uh, Queen Penelope AFK. What? Leonard: Okay, um, here's the thing, um, sometimes people, good people, you know, they start playing these games and they find themselves through no fault of their own, you know, kind of, addicted.(オーケー、えーと、こういうこと、時には人は、いい人でも、つまり、こういうゲームを初めて、自分のせいじゃないとしても、中毒になるんだ。) Penny: Yeah, get to the point, I'm about to level up here.(そうね、はっきり言って、私ここでレベルアップするとこよ。) Leonard: Well, i-i-i-it's just if a person doesn't have a sense of achievement in their real life it's easy to lose themselves in a virtual world where they get a false sense of accomplishment.(えーと、もし人が実生活で達成感が得られないとき、誤った達成感を得られる仮想世界で自分を見失いやすいんだ。) Penny: Yeah, jabber jabber jabber, okay boys, Queen Penelope's back online.(ええ、ぐだぐだぐだ、わかったわ、クイーン・ペネロプは接続復帰。) Leonard: Penny, you've got cheetos* in your hair.(ペニー、チートスが髪にくっついてるよ。) *さくさくした食感のスティック状のチーズ味コーンスナック、“ミニチーズ”の意味。 Penny: (pulling cheetos out of hair) Oh, thanks. (Eats it.) Leonard: Wow.
[Same - later]
(Penny is attacking a multi-headed monster with a sword on the screen.A muscular warrior in a cape walks onto the screen.) Warrior: Hey Penny, it's me again, Leonard. Penny- warrior: Leonard, I said not now. Leonard-warrior: Yeah, I know, I'm just a little concerned about you.(わかってるけど、君のことが気がかりなんだ。) Penny-warrior: I said not now. (Chops off his head.) Leonard-warrior's head: Okay, maybe later.
[The university lunch room] Raj: Hey guys. Leonard and Howard: Hey. Raj: (indicating Sheldon) Hey, what's with him? Leonard: Penny's been keeping him up at night.(ペニーが夜中彼を寝させないんだ。) Howard: Me too. But probably in a different way.(僕もだよ、でも多分別の方法でね。) Leonard: She's gotten really hooked on Age of Conan, she's playing non-stop.(彼女は英雄コナンに夢中でやり続けなんだ。) Raj: Ah, yes, online gaming addiction. There's nothing worse than having that multi-player monkey on your back.(あー、そうだね、オン・ライン・ゲーム中毒。複数参加のゲーム中毒ほど悪いものはない。) Leonard: Sheldon, wake up. Sheldon: Danger, danger. Leslie: (arriving) Afternoon men*. Sheldon. *Afternoon Men is the first published novel by the English writer Anthony Powellin 1931, which focuses on the tedious chitchat of bored young people who are bright but brittle and filled with self-conscious ennui. Sheldon: Oh yeah, well your attempt at juvenilizing me by excluding me from the set of adult males…. oh, I'm too tired to do this.(おー、そうだ、僕を大人の男性から除外して子供扱いしようとして．．．こういうのうんざりだ。) Leslie: Right, I heard you've been pulling all nighters with middle-earth Barbie.(中つ国 のバービーと徹夜したんだって。) Sheldon: She comes into my room. No-one's supposed to be in my room.(彼女が僕の部屋に来たんだ。誰も僕の部屋には入れないことになってるのに。) Leslie: Well, I would postulate that she's escaping into the online world to compensate for her sexual frustration.(彼女は性的欲求不満を解消するために、オン・ラインの世界に逃げ込んでるんじゃない。) Howard: I do that too. But probably in a different way.(僕もだよ、でも多分別の方法でね。。) Leonard: That's not what she's doing, Leslie, she's just trying to shore up her self esteem, it has nothing to do with sex.(彼女はそうじゃない。彼女は単に自信を得ようとしてるんだ、セックスとは関係ない。) Leslie: Everything has to do with sex.(全てのものがセックスと関係してるわ。) Howard: Mmmm, testify. (Puts up hand for a handslap.) Leslie: I'm not touching that. Leonard: Leslie, you are way off base here.(レズリー、君は的外れだよ。) Sheldon: Hang on, Leonard, while I have no respect for Leslie as a scientist, or a human being for that matter, we have to concede her undeniable expertise in the interrelated fields of promiscuity and general sluttiness.(ちょっと待って、レナード、レズリーを、科学者やそちら件の人間としては全然尊敬しないけど、乱交とあばずれの相関する分野における否定できない経験については認めなきゃならないよ。) Leslie: Thank you. My point is that Tinkerbell just needs to get her some.(ありがとう、私が言いたいのは、妖精が彼女に何かをもってくる必要があるって事。) Sheldon: Some what? Oh, yes, some sexual intercourse.(何か？オー、そうだ。性的な交流だ。) Howard: I'll take the bullet.(僕が代役になろう。) Leonard: Excuse me, this whole idea is insane.(失礼、この考えは狂ってる。) Sheldon: Yeah, yeah, enough debate, I'm going to take action.
(Sheldon leans over to a good looking man on a nearby table.) Sheldon: Excuse me, are you currently involved in a sexual relationship?(失礼、あなたは現在性的な交際相手がいますか？) Man: No. Sheldon: Would you like to be? Man: Uh, sure, why not? Leonard: Sheldon… Sheldon: Zip it pip it. Can I have your phone number?(ちょうどいい。電話番号教えてくれます？) Man: Uh… (checks out Sheldon's package) Yeah, yeah.
(Man pullsout pen and writes it on Sheldon's hand.) Sheldon: There, problem solved. Leslie: Dumbass.
[Penny's flat]
(Penny is on her laptop. Everything around her is littered with empty food packaging and red bull cans. She burps loudly. Sheldon is sitting on the sofa.) Penny: Okay, I'm at the gate to the Treasury of the Ancients, I'm going in.(おーけー、古代の財宝の門に居るの、中に入るわ。) Sheldon: Stay close to the wall. Avoid the mummies.(壁から離れないで、ミイラに気をつけて。) Penny: Got it. Sheldon: I must say, you're playing very well for a woman of 23?(君は23歳？の女の子としてはゲームがとても上手だ。) Penny: 22. Sheldon: Right. 22.
(Cut to his screen, Sheldon is filling in an online dating profile.) Penny: Oh, here come the mummies, which spell do I use? The hateful strike, or the frenzy stance?(おー、ミイラが来たわ。どの呪文を使うの？「ヘイトフル・ストライク(憎しみの打撃)」？それとも「フレンジー・スタンス(狂乱の構え）」？) Sheldon: What happened to the rest of your group?(残りのグループには何が起こってる？) Penny: I dumped them, they're a bunch of wussies.(捨てたわ、弱虫ばかりだから。) Sheldon: Frenzy stance.(フレンジー・スタンスだ。) Penny: Frenzy, frenzy, frenzy, frenzy, frenzy! Sheldon: So listen, would you describe your ideal vacation as a wild adventure to unknown lands, or staying at home curled up with a good book?(聞いて、理想的な休暇は、見知らぬ土地での自然の冒険か家でおもしろい本読んで笑い転げるか、どっち？) Penny: What? Sheldon: These are market research questions. I'm filling out the online registration for your game.(市場調査の質問さ。君のためにオン・ライン・ゲームに登録してるのさ。) Penny: Oh, okay, wild adventure. Oh, frenzy stance isn't working, die you undead mummy, die!(オーケー、自然の冒険。おー、フレンジー・スタンスが聞かない、死ね、死にぞこないのミイラめ。) Sheldon: Drink a healing potion.(回復の水薬を飲んで。) Penny: Thank you. Sheldon: You're welcome. Anyhow, on a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being always initiated by him, and 5 being always initiated by you, how do you prefer your sexual encounters to begin?(どういたしまして。ともかく、1から5の段階で、１は常に彼から始めて、5は君から始めるとして、セックスはどうやって始めるのが好き？) Penny: That's on the registration? Sheldon: Oh yes, it's quite extensive. But if we complete it, we get a free expansion pack, 75 additional quests.(そうだよ、とても広範なんだ。でも、もし完成したら、ただの拡張パックが手に入る、75の追加の課題だ。) Penny: Ooh, awesome, okay, I totally like to initiate I'm a big old five.(おー、すごい、オーケー、私は自分から始めるのが好き、断然5よ。) Sheldon: Good to know. Big old five.(わかった、断然5ね。)
[The apartment]
(Leonard enters. There is a strange man sitting on the sofa.) Leonard: Hello. Man: Hi. Sheldon: Leonard, this is Tom. Leonard: Hi Tom. Sheldon? Didn't I explain to you about your little mistake in the cafeteria?(ハイ、トム。シェルダン、カフェテリアでの君の間違いについて説明してなかったっけ？) Sheldon: Yes, you were very clear, as was everyone else at the table. Tom, however, has been chosen by science as a suitable mate for Penny.(うん、したよ。君はテーブルに居た他の連中と同じようにとても明快にね。でも、トムはペニーにふさわしいって科学的に選ばれたんだ。) Leonard: Chosen by science?(科学的に？) Sheldon: Well, what passes for science on dating sites. They claim to use heuristic algorithms, but it may well be hokum.(えーと、デート・サイトでは科学とされてるものさ。彼らは発見的アルゴリズムを使ってるって言ってるけど、たわごとの方が妥当だね。) Leonard: You got Penny to sign up for online dating?(君はペニーにオン・ライン・デートに登録させたのかい？) Sheldon: No, of course not. No, I used trickery and deceit.(いや、もちろんさせてないよ。ごまかしと策略を使ったのさ。) Leonard: This is bad. Sheldon: Tom is a paramedic with the fire department, but he's going to med school at night, uh, he likes the outdoors, and, uh, strong women who initiate sex.(トムは消防局の救急救命士だ、でも彼は夜は医学部に通ってるんだ。彼は野外活動と自分からセックスを求める強い女の子が好きなんだ。) Leonard: Really, really bad. Sheldon: I'm surprised you struck out with Penny. Apparently she's a big old five.(僕は君がペニーとうまくいかなかったのに驚いたよ。見るかに彼女は断然の５だからね。)
(Penny is entering, looking ratty in baggy clothes and with her hair unwashed) Penny: Sheldon, what do you want. Sheldon: Oh, good, you got my note. Penny, I'd like you to meet Tom, uh, Penny, this is Tom, Tom, may I present Penny.(おー、ちょうどいい、僕の書き置き見たんだね。トムと会ってくれ、ペニー、こちらトム、トム、ペニーを紹介するよ。) Tom: Hi Penny. Penny: Yeah, Hi, listen, as long as I'm here, I'm on a quest with a bunch of noobs, they don't know what they're doing, we've got one assassin, three spellcasters and no tank*.(ええ、ハイ、ねえ、私がここにいるかぎり、大勢の初心者の課題を受けるの、彼らは自分が何をしてるかわからないし、私たち一人の殺人者と3人の魔術師がいてタンクがいないの。) *[オン・ライン・ゲム]グループ内で、敵の攻撃を一手に引き受ける役割のこと。「壁」と呼ばれることもある。 Sheldon: Can we talk about this later?(それ後にできない？) Penny: No, no, no, no, I need you now. Sheldon: But wouldn't you prefer to socialise with Tom, who is a sexually passive outdoorsman.(トムと交際した方がいいんじゃない？彼は性的に受け身の野外派だし。) Penny: Whatever, I'll figure it out myself.(どうでもいいけど、それは自分で明らかにするわ。) Tom: Bye, Penny. I'm sorry, dude, she didn't look anything like her picture.(バイ、ペニー、ごめん、彼女は写真とは似ても似つかないよ。) Leonard: They never do.
[Inside the game]
(Penny-warrior is standing next to a battle horse.) Warrior: Hello, fair Penny. Penny-warrior: Who are you? Warrior: It is I, Sir Howard of Wolowitz. Can I interest you in an afternoon of spirited questing, followed by a flagon of ale at yon virtual tavern?(これは僕だよ、ハワード・ウォロウィッツ様だ。君を活発なゲーム課題とそのあと午後の仮想居酒屋のエールの酒瓶に誘っていいかい。) Penny-warrior: Yeah, sure, why not?(ええ、いいわ。) Penny: Oh my God, I need help. (なんてこと、私助けが必要だわ。)
(Penny closes laptop and throws it away.)
Story by Nicole Lorre
Teleplay by Steven Molaro & Eric Kaplan
Japanese interpretaion by Norih