When Penny learns that Leonard doesn't celebrate birthdays, she attempts to throw him a surprise party, but is sidetracked by Sheldon who unexpectedly gets to live out one of his greatest fantasies at an electronics store. Howard in charge of keeping Leonard out of the apartment while the others prepare for the party, pretends to eat a Granola Bar* which contains peanuts which he is allergic to, so Leonard has to drive him to the hospital. Howard tries to get the nurse to give him a shot but he failed to convince her, since Leonard insists on going home as Howard's condition wasn't very serious. Then Howard decides to actually eat the Granola Bar with the peanuts and sure enough he was treated and was able to stall Leonard. In the end, Leonard figured out that they were throwing him a surprise birthday party, but when he entered his house the party has already long ended.
(レナードが誕生日のお祝いをしたことがないと知って、ペニーはサプライズ・パーティーを企画する。渋るシェルダンを説得し、一緒にプレゼントを探しに電子機器店に出かけるも、シェルダンのこだわりに刻々と時間が過ぎペニーのイライラは募る。一方、ハワードはパーティの準備ができるまでレナードをアパートから引き離そうとし、アレルギー物質のピーナッツを含んだグラノーラ・バーを誤って食べたふりをし、レナードと病院へ向かう。症状の現れないハワードに治療がなされず、アパートに帰ろうするレナードを引きとめるために、ハワードはグラノーラ・バーを本当に食べてしまう。ピーナッツに反応し、腫れ上がった顔のハワードは治療を受けられるのだが、レナードと一緒にアパートに戻るとパーティーはとっくに終わっており・・・・。) *グラノーラ(Granola)は、燕麦、麦、玄米、とうもろこしなどを蜂蜜や黒砂糖、植物油と混ぜてオーブンで焼き、ドライフルーツ、ココナッツ、ナッツなどをミックスして作った食べ物で、シリアル食品の一種。グラノーラ・バーは、グラノーラを棒状に固めたもの。
Word Review
[The Cheesecake Factory]
(Raj and Sheldon are arm wrestling while playing tetris. There is a cacophony of cries such as "take him down" and "he's got you, Sheldon.")(ラジとシェルダンがテトリスをやりながら腕相撲をしている。「あいつをやっつけろ」「やられるぞ、シェルダン」という騒音が響く。) Penny: Hey, guys, guys, some of the other waitresses wanted me to ask you something.(ねえ、あんたたち、他のウェイトレスが私からあなたたちお願いしてくれって言うんだけど。) Leonard: Oh, it's called trestling.(これはトレステリングって言うんだ。) Howard: It combines the physical strength of arm wrestling with the mental agility of tetris into the ultimate sport.(これは腕相撲の身体力とテトリスの精神俊敏性を組み合わせた究極のスポーツだ。) Penny: Yeah, that's terrific, but what they wanted me to ask you was to cut it the hell out.(ええ、すごいわね、でも彼女たちはあなたたちにやめて欲しがってるの。) Penny: (To someone off) Right come on guys, come on.
(Singing while approaching another table) Penny: Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you… Sheldon: We might as well stop, it's a stalemate. You're beating me in tetris, but you've got the upper body strength of a Keebler Elf*.(僕らやめた方がいいな、手詰まりだ。君はテトリスでは僕に勝ってるけど上半身の強さはキーブラ・エルフ並みだ。) *アメリカのお菓子メーカーKEEBLER社の、妖精をモチーフにしたキャラクター Raj: Keebler Elf? I've got your Keebler Elf right here.(キーブラ・エルフ?君こそキーブラ・エルフだ、ほら。)
(Strains to push Sheldon's arm down. Tries using both hands, still with no effect.) Raj: Okay, it's a stalemate.(オーケー、手詰まりだ。) Penny: So Leonard, will we be seeing you on Saturday for your free birthday cheesecake?(それで、レナード、土曜には只のお誕生チーズ・ケーキ食べに来るんでしょ?)< Sheldon: He can't eat cheesecake, he's lactose intolerant.(彼はチーズ・ケーキ食べられないよ。彼は乳糖不耐性だからね。) Penny: Okay, he can have carrot cake.(オーケー、ニンジンケーキも選べるわ。) Sheldon: What about the cream cheese frosting.(クリーム・チーズの糖衣はどう?) Penny: He can scrape it off. Leonard: Forget about the cake, how did you know that my birthday is Saturday?(ケーキのことは忘れてくれ、でもどうやって誕生日が土曜日だってわかったの?) Penny: I did your horoscope, remember, I was going to do everybody's until Sheldon went on one of his typical psychotic rants.(あなたの星占いしたでしょ、覚えてる?シェルダンが例の調子で精神病的にわめき散らすまで、私皆の星占いしようとしてたの。) Sheldon: For the record, that psychotic rant was a concise summation of the research of Bertram Forer, who in 1948 proved conclusively through meticulously designed experiments, that astrology is nothing but pseudo scientific hokum.(公式には、あの精神病的怒声は、ベルトラム・フォラーが1948年に注意深く計画された実験により占星術は偽科学的たわごとであると最終的に証明した研究の要約である。) Penny: Blah blah blah, a typical Taurus. So, seriously, are we going to see you Saturday?(ぐだぐだぐだ、典型的なおうし座。まじめな話、土曜日に集まらない?) Leonard: Oh, I don't think so. Penny: Why not? Leonard: I don't celebrate my birthday.(誕生日は祝わないんだ。) Penny: Shuddup, yeah you do.(黙って、祝うべきよ。) Leonard: No, it's no big deal, it's just the way I was raised. My parents focussed on celebrating achievements, and being expelled from a birth canal was not considered one of them.いや、それは重要じゃないんだ。僕はそういう風に育ったんだ。僕の両親は達成したことを祝うことに重点をおいて、産道から排出されたことを成果とは考えなかったんだ。) Penny: Uh, that's so silly.(うー、それは馬鹿げてる。) Sheldon: It's actually based on very sound theories, his mother published a paper on it.(それはとても確実な論理に基づいてて、彼の母親はそれについて論文発表してるんだ。) Penny: What was it called, "I hate my son and that's why he can't have cake?"(それって「私は息子が嫌いで、だから彼はケーキが食べられない」っていう奴?) Sheldon: It was obviously effective, Leonard grew up to be an experimental physicist. Perhaps if she'd also denied him Christmas he'd be a little better at it.(それは明らかに有効で、レナードは実験物理学者になったっんだ。もしも彼女がクリスマスも否定すればもっと良かったんだけど。) Leonard: Thank you. Howard: Well I love birthdays, waking up to Mom's special French Toast breakfast, wearing the birthday king crown, playing laser tag* with all my friends.(僕は誕生日が好きだな、母さんの特別フレンチ・トーストで朝起きて、誕生日の王冠をかぶって友達みんなとレーザー・タグするんだ。) *レーザー銃(人体に無害な赤外線使用)でお互いの的を撃ち合う、サバイバルゲームの様なゲーム Penny: Yeah, see, that's what kids should have.(そうよ、それが子供たちがするべきことよ。) Howard: Actually that was last year.(実際、それ去年やったんだ。) Penny: So you've really never had a birthday party?(それじゃあ、あなた本当にお誕生パーティーしたことないの?) Leonard: No. But it was okay. I mean, when I was little I'd think maybe my parents would change their mind, and surprise me with a party, like this one birthday I came home from my Cello lesson, and I saw a lot of strange cars parked out front, and when I got to the door I could hear people whispering, and I could smell German chocolate cake, which is my favourite.(ないよ。でも大丈夫。僕が小さかったとき、両親の気が変わって、パーティーで僕を驚かそうとしてるんだって思ったことがあって、つまり誕生日にチェロのレッスンから家に帰ったら見なれない車がたくさん家の前に留まってて、ドアの前に立ったら人がささやいてるのが聞こえて、僕の好きなドイツ・チョコレート・ケーキの匂いがしてたんだ。) Penny: And? Leonard: Uh, it turns out my grandfather had died.(僕のおじいちゃんが死んでたんだ。) Penny: Oh my God, that's terrible. Leonard: Oh, it was kind of like a birthday party. I got to see all my cousins and there was cake, so…(それが誕生パーティーみたいなものさ。僕のいとこがみんないて、ケーキがあって...。) Penny: That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.(今まで聞いた中で一番悲しい話だわ。) Howard: You think? Go ahead, tell her about your senior prom.(そう思う?言ってやったら、高校2年のプロム・パーティーのことを。)
[Leonard is exiting the apartment] Howard: (voice from inside) Make sure they remember no peanuts. Leonard: Howard, every Thai restaurant in town knows you can't eat peanuts. They see me coming they go "ah, no peanut boy!"(ハワード、この街のタイ・レストランは全部君がピーナッツを食べられないって知ってるよ。君を見るとみんな「ノー・ピーナッツ・ボーイだ!」って言うんだ。)
(Leonard exits down stairs. A moment later, Penny peeks out of her apartment, checks the coast is clear, and crosses the hall to the guys apartment. Knocks.)(レナードが階下に降りてすぐ、ペニーが彼女の部屋から覗き見て、見てる人がいないことを確認して、廊下を超えてハワードたちの部屋に行ってノックする。)
Sheldon: (answering) Hello Penny. Leonard just left. Penny: I know. I want to talk to you.(知ってるわ、あなたに話があるの。) Sheldon: What would we talk about? We've no overlapping areas of interest I'm aware of, and you know I don't care for chit-chat.(何を話すことがあるの?僕が知る限り僕らは共通の興味はないでしょ、それに僕が世間話を好まないって知ってるはず。) Penny: Okay, can you just let me in.(オーケー、とにかく中に入れてよ。) Sheldon: Well alright, but I don't see this as a promising endeavour.(わかったよ、でもこれは協力するって意味じゃないよ。) Penny: Okay, here's the deal, we are going to throw Leonard a kick-ass surprise party for his birthday on Saturday.(オーケー、提案があるの、私たち今度の土曜にレナードのびっくり仰天お誕生パーティーをやろうよ。) Sheldon: I hardly think so, Leonard made it very clear he doesn't want a party.(僕は反対だな。レナードは明確にパーティーは不要だって言ったよ。) Howard: Did someone say party? Penny: He just doesn't know he wants one because he's never had one.(彼はパーテイーしてもらったことがないからして欲しいってわからないのよ。) Howard: I suppose that's possible, but for the record, I've never had a threesome and yet I still know I want one.(その可能性はあると思う、公式には、僕も2人とやったことないから実際にはしたいどうか知らないんだ。) Penny: Howard, here's the difference. The possibility exists that Leonard could have a birthday party before hell freezes over.(ハワード違いがあるわ。レナードは永久に誕生パーティーをしない可能性があるの。) Howard: Fine. If I do have a threesome, you can't be part of it. I'm just kidding, yes you can. Can you bring a friend?(結構。もしも僕が2人とやるときには君はそのうちの一人には入れないよ。冗談、君も入れるよ、友達連れてこれる?) Sheldon: I think a birthday party is a terrible idea. I envy Leonard for growing up without that anguish.(誕生パーティーはひどい案だと思う。僕はその苦痛を知らずに育ったレナードがうらやましいよ。) Penny: Anguish?(苦痛?) Sheldon: Year after year, I had to endure wearing conical hats while being forced into the crowded sweaty hell of bouncy castles, not to mention being blindfolded and spun towards a grotesque tailless donkey as the other children mocked my disorientation.(来る年も来る年も、他の子が僕の方向感覚がないのを嘲笑ってる間、円錐帽をかぶらされて混雑した汗っぽいお城に入れられ、目隠しをされて奇怪なしっぽのないロバの方に転がってくのを我慢しなきゃならなかったんだ。) Penny: Okay, sweetie, I understand you have scars that no non-professional can heal, but nevertheless we are going to throw Leonard a birthday party.(オーケー、あなたは素人には癒せない傷を負ってたんだ、それでも私たちはレナードに誕生パーティーを開いてあげるのよ。) Sheldon: Have I pointed out that I am extremely uncomfortable with dancing, loud music and most other forms of alcohol induced frivolity.(ダンスとうるさい音楽と酔っ払いのくだらないことがすごく不快なんだ。) Penny: Nevertheless we are…. Sheldon: In addition I really don't think that Leonard wants a… Penny: Okay, here's the deal, you either help me throw Leonard a birthday party or, so help me God, I will go into your bedroom and I will unbag all of your most valuable mint condition comic books. And on one of them, you won't know which, I'll draw a tiny happy face in ink.(オーケー、提案があるわ、レナードの誕生パーティー開くのをあなたたちが手伝ってくれたら、私があなたの部屋に行って大事な新品の漫画本を取りだして、その中のどれかわからない一つに小さなハッピー・フェイスを描いてあげるわ。) Sheldon: You can't do that, if you make a mark on a mint comic book it's no longer mint.(そんなことさせないよ、もしも新品の漫画本にしるしをつけたらもはや新品じゃない。) Penny: Sheldon, do you understand the concept of blackmail?(シェルダン、恐喝の意味わかる?) Sheldon: Well of course I… oh! Yeah, I have an idea, let's throw Leonard a kick ass birthday party.(ああもちろん、オーわかった。僕に考えがある、レナードのびっくり誕生パーティーを開こう。)
[Howard and Raj sneak up the stairwell carrying presents]
(Howard knocks on Penny's door, a combination of two knocks, two knocks, one knock. Nothing happens. He tries again. Sheldon opens the door.) Sheldon: That's not the secret knock. This is the secret knock.
(He knocks two, one, two.) Howard: What difference does it make? Sheldon: The whole point of a secret knock is to establish a non-verbal signal to verify the identity of one's co-conspirators.(秘密のノックの要点は共謀者の身分を証明するための非言語信号を確立するためのものだ。) Penny: Is that Raj and Howard? Sheldon: Possibly, but unverified. Howard: Can you just let us in. Sheldon: Luckily for you this is not a nuclear reactor.(君たちにとって幸運なことにここは原子炉じゃない。) Penny: So, what did you get the birthday boy?(それであなたたちお誕生君のために何を買ったの?) Howard: Well, Raj got him an awesome limited edition Dark Knight sculpture based on Alex Ross's definitive Batman, and I got him this amazing autographed copy of the Feynman lectures on physics.(えーと、ラジはアレックス・ロスの限定バットマンに基づくかっこいい限定版のダーク・ナイト彫像、僕はファインマンの物理学講義の見事なサイン付きコピーだ。) Penny: Nice. I got him a sweater. Howard: Okay, well, he might like that, I've seen him… chilly. Penny: Uh, Sheldon, I didn't see your present.(シェルダン、あなたのプレゼント見てないわ。) Sheldon: That's because I didn't bring one.(それは持ってこないからだよ。) Penny: Well why not?(どうして持って来ないの。) Howard: Don't ask.(聞かないで。) Sheldon: The entire institution of gift giving makes no sense.(贈り物をする制度が全く意味ないからさ。) Howard: Too late. Sheldon: Let's say that I go out and I spend fifty dollars on you, it's a laborious activity, because I have to imagine what you need, whereas you know what you need. Now I can simplify things, just give you the fifty dollars directly and, you could give me fifty dollars on my birthday, and so on until one of us dies leaving the other one old and fifty dollars richer. And I ask you, is it worth it?(僕が外出して君のために50ドル使ったとしよう、それって骨の折れる活動だよね、だって君は自分が何が必要かわかってるのに僕が君は何を必要としているか想像しなきゃならないんだ。それで僕が単純化して君に直接50ドル上げたとすると、君は僕の誕生日に50ドルくれることになる。そして僕らのどちらかが死ぬともう一方の残った年寄りが50ドル金持ちになる。聞くけど、それってやる価値あるの?) Howard: Told you not to ask.(聞かないでって言っただろ。) Penny: Well, Sheldon, you're his friend. Friends give each other presents.(ねえ、シェルダン、あなたは彼の友達でしょ。友達はお互いに贈り物するのよ。) Sheldon: I accept your premise, I reject your conclusion.(君の前提条件は受け入れるけど、結論は拒絶する。) Howard: Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention.(彼にこれは選択の余地ない社会的な因習だって言ってごらん。) Penny: What? Howard: Just do it. Penny: It's a non-optional social convention. Sheldon: Oh. Fair enough.(おー、それはもっともだ。) Howard: He came with a manual.(彼はマニュアルどおりさ。) Sheldon: Question, how am I going to get Leonard a present before the party? I don't drive, and the only things available within walking distance are a Thai restaurant and a gas station. I suppose I could wrap up an order of mee krob* and a couple of lottery scratchers.(質問、パーティーの前にどうやってレナードにプレゼントを買えばいいんだ?僕は運転できないし、歩いていけるのはタイ・レストランとガソリン・スタンドくらいだし。僕が包装できるのはミー・クロッブの注文とくじの削り器くらいだよ。) *タイのパリパリ麺、通常甘いソースと一緒に食べる Penny: Okay, let's do this, um, I will drive Sheldon to get a present, and Howard, you need to get rid of Leonard for about two hours.(オーケー、こうしましょ。私がシェルダンをプレゼントの買い物に連れて行くわ。ハワード、あなたはレナードを2時間遠ざけて。) Howard: No problem. Penny: And then Raj, you bring the stuff across the hall and start setting up.(それにラジ、あなたは廊下を横切って品物を持ってきてセットアップ始めてて。) Howard: (after Raj whispers in his ear) What if guests show up?(お客さんが現れたらどうするの?) Penny: Entertain them.(彼らをもてなしといて。) Howard: What if they're women?(女の子だったらどうする?) Penny: Stare at them and make them feel uncomfortable.(彼女たちを見つめて居心地悪くさせて。)
[The apartment]
(Leonard is playing an X-Box game) Howard: (entering) Hey! Leonard: Hey. Howard: How's it going? Leonard: Fine. Howard: So, listen, the New Art is showing the revised definitive cut of Blade Runner.(ニュー・アートで限定編集版のブレード・ランナーをやってるよ。) Leonard: Seen it. Howard: No, you've seen the 25th anniversary final cut. This one has eight seconds of previously unseen footage. They say it completely changes the tone of the film.(いや、君が見たのは25周年記念最終版だよ。こいつは見たことない8秒間のフィルムを含んでるんだ。フィルムの色調も完全に変えたって言ってるし。) Leonard: Oh. Pass. Howard: Come on, afterwards there's a Q & A with Harrison Ford's body double.(行こうぜ、後でハリソン・フォードの替え玉俳優のQ & Aがあるよ。) Leonard: Look, I am in the Halo battle of my life here, there's this kid in Copenhagen, he has no immune system so all he does is sit in his bubble and play Halo 24/7.(ねえ、僕はここで僕の生涯のヘイロー戦中なんだ、コペンハーゲンの子供とさ、彼は免疫性を持ってないから防護膜の中に座ってヘイロー24/7をやるだけなんだ。) Howard: Can't you play him some other time?(それ別な時にできないの?) Leonard: Not if you believe his doctors.(駄目だ、彼の医者を信じるならね。) Howard: Oh my God, do you smell gas.(なんてこった、ガスのにおいしないか。) Leonard: No. Howard: Yeah, no.
[An electrical store] Penny: Alright, you know they have DVDs over there.(オーライ、DVDはあっちにあるわ。) Sheldon: Yes, but they have DVD burners* over here. Leonard needs a DVD burner.(そう、でもDVDバーナーはこっちだ。レナードはDVDバーナーが必要なんだ。) *書き込み可能な光学ドライブ、つまり、DVD±R/RW・DVD-RAMドライブなど Penny: Sheldon, a gift shouldn't be something someone needs, it should be something fun, you know, something they wouldn't buy for themselves.(シェルダン、贈り物は必要とされるものじゃなくていいのよ、楽しいもの、自分自身では買わないようなものよ。) Sheldon: You mean, like a sweater?(セーターみたいな物って言いたいの?) Penny: Well, it's a fun sweater, it's got a bold geometric print.(えーと、あれは楽しいセーター、大胆な幾何学模様のプリントよ。) Sheldon: Is it the geometry that makes it fun.(大胆な幾何学模様が楽しくするのか。) Penny: Okay, the point is, one of the ways we show we care about people is by putting thought and imagination into the gifts we give them.(オーケー、要は私たちの思慮と想像力を贈り物に込めて、私たちがどんなに彼のことを思っているか示すものよ。) Sheldon: Okay, I see, so not a DVD burner.(オーケー、わかった、DVDバーナーはやめにするよ。) Penny: Exactly. Sheldon: Something he wouldn't buy for himself. Something fun. Something like… oh, an 802.11n* wireless router.(彼が自ら購入しないもの。楽しいもの。何か...、オー、802.11n規格の無線ルーターだ。) *IEEE(米国電気電子学会)でLAN技術の標準を策定している802委員会が定めた無線LANの規格の一つで、2.4GHz帯または5GHz帯の無線で最高600Mbpsの通信を行う仕様。
[The apartment] Leonard: Here you go, Copenhagen boy, how about a taste of Hans Christian Hand Grenade.(さあどうだ、コペンハーゲンの少年よ、ハンズ・クリスチャン手榴弾の効果はどうだい?)
(Raj enters carrying party supplies. Howard waves him away while in the background Leonard is heard saying "oh, that did not feel good.") Leonard: Come on, come on, oh you clever little…. Come on, come on, take that!(さあ来い、さあ来い、賢いおちびさん、さあ来い、さあ来い、これでも食らえ!)
(Howard picks up a granola bar from the table, breaks off half and puts it in his back pocket.) Howard: Oh-oh. (Louder) Oh-oh! Leonard: What's the matter? Howard: This granola bar, there's peanuts in it.(このグラノーラ・バー、ピーナッツが入ってる。) Leonard: Oh my God, why did you eat it?(大変だ、どうして食べちゃったの?) Howard: I don't know, it was just there.(知らないよ、そこにあったからさ。) Leonard: Well if I had a gun there, would you have shot yourself?(それじゃもし僕が銃をそこに置いといたら、君はそれで自分を撃つのかい?) Howard: Don't yell at me, I've got to go to the emergency room.(僕を怒鳴らないで、僕は緊急治療室に行かなきゃならないよ。) Leonard: Now? Howard: No, after my tongue has swollen to the size of a brisket.(いや、僕の舌が肩ばら肉大にまで膨らんでからだ。) Leonard: Alright, um, just, uh, let me get my keys.(わかったよ、車のカギとってくる。) Howard: Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh….
(into phone after Leonard leaves room) Howard: The laundry is out of the hamper. (洗濯場の籠が無くなってる。)(Looks exasperated) Okay Sheldon, what was it supposed to be? Fine, it's out of the washer. I'll call you when it's in the dryer.(オーケ、シェルダン、それなんだったと思う。いいね、洗濯機の空きがない。乾燥機に入れたら連絡する。) Leonard: (running in) Alright, let's go.
(They exit, with Howard making croaking noises.)
[The store]
(Sheldon is looking at two routers) Sheldon: What do you think. Penny: (pointing randomly) Um, that one. Sheldon: Because of the two additional Ethernet ports.(なぜなら2つの追加イーサーネットのポートがついてる。) Penny: Sure. Sheldon: He doesn't need them, he's already got a 640 connect switch(彼はこれを必要としてない、既に640結合スイッチを持ってるからね。) Penny: Oh, okay then this one. Sheldon: Why? Penny: I don't know, the man on the box looks so happy.(わかんないけど、その箱持ってる人が嬉しそうだったから。) Sheldon: Penny! If I'm going to buy Leonard a gift, I'm going to do it right. I refuse to let him experience the same childhood trauma I did.(ペニー、もしも僕がレナードに贈り物を買うなら適正にやりたいんだ。僕が子供のころのトラウマを経験させたくない。) Penny: Oh, I know I'm going to regret this but, what trauma?(これは良くないと思うけど、トラウマって何?) Sheldon: On my twelfth birthday I really wanted a titanium centrifuge, so, you know, I could separate radioactive isotopes.(僕の12歳の誕生日に、放射性同位元素を分離できるチタン製遠心機が欲しかったんだ。) Penny: Of course. Sheldon: Instead of a titanium centrifuge, my parents bought me… wow, this is hard. They got me… a motorised dirt bike.(チタン製遠心機の代わりに、僕の両親は...ワー、これはきついな、彼らは僕に原動機付のダート用バイクを買ったんだ。) Penny: No? Sheldon: What twelve year old boy wants a motorised dirt bike?(どんな12歳の少年が原動機付のダート用バイクを欲しがるんだ?) Penny: All of them.(誰でも。) Sheldon: Really? Penny: Yeah. Sheldon: Huh? Penny: Okay, so we're getting this one? Sheldon: Yeah, I suppose. Penny: Okay, let's go. Random woman: Excuse me, do you know anything about this stuff?(失礼、あなたこれについてわかる?) Sheldon: I know everything about this stuff.(何でも知ってるよ。) Woman: Okay, I have my own wholesale flower business, and I want to hook up my computer in the front entrance with the one in my refrigerated warehouse.(オーケー、私は花の卸商してて、それで冷蔵倉庫の入口にコンピュータをつりさげたいの。) Penny: Here, buy this one. Look, it's the one we're getting, see, happy guy available.(これを買ったら。ねえ、私達が買おうとしてるの、見て、あの嬉しそうな人が手にしてる。) Sheldon: No, no, no, no, she doesn't want that, she needs a point to point peer network with a range extender.(ダメダメ、彼女が欲しいのはそれじゃない、必要なのはレンジ拡張付きPPTネットワークだ。) Woman: Thank you. Random guy: Which hard drive do I want, firewire or USB?(どっちのハード・ドライブがいいんだ、ファイヤー・ワイヤーかどれともUSB?) Sheldon: It depends on what Bus you have.(それはどんなバス・ケーブルかによるよ。) Guy: I drive a Chevy Cavalier.(シボレーのキャバリアーだ。) Sheldon: Oh, dear lord.(おお、何と。) Penny: Sheldon, we have to go. Sheldon: Not now, Penny, this poor man needs me. (まだ駄目だよ、ペニー、この哀れな人は僕が必要なんだ。)(To woman approaching) You hold on, I'll be right with you. What computer do you have, and please don't say a white one?(ちょっと待って、あなたの番ですよ、どんなコンピュータ持ってるんですか?白い奴とか言わないでね。)
[The hospital]
(Howard runs in and up to the counter) Howard: Excuse me. Nurse: Fill this out, have a seat.(この書類に記入して、座ってて。) Howard: No, listen, see we're throwing my friend a surprise party and I'm supposed to keep him out of his apartment for two hours.(ちょっと聞いて、僕ら友達のためにサプライズ・パーティーを開こうとしてて、彼をアパートから2時間引き離さなきゃならないんだ。) Nurse: Uh-huh, fill this out and have a seat. Howard: No, see, the only way I could get him to leave is to tell him I ate a peanut. Because I'm allergic to peanuts.(いや、彼を引き離す唯一の方法は僕がピーナッツを食べたって言うことだったんだ。だって僕はピーナッツアレルギーだからね。) Nurse: Oh, well in that case fill this out and have a seat.(オー、それならこの書類に記入して、座ってて。) Howard: Look, all I need from you is to take me in the back and give me a band-aid so I can pretend I had a shot of epinephrine* and they you tell my friend you need to keep me under observation for about an hour, hour and a half.(ちょっと、僕がしてほしいのは後ろに連れて行って、エピネフェリンの注射されたふりできるようにバンドエイドを張って、僕の友達に1時間か1時間半ほど様子を見るように伝えることなんだ。) *副腎髄質から採るホルモン;血圧を上げる Nurse: Is that all you need?(それがしてほしいことなの?) Howard: Yes. Nurse: Get out of my ER.(緊急治療室から出て行って。) Howard: No, you don't understand. Nurse: Oh, I understand, but unfortunately this hospital is not equipped to treat stupid.(理解したわ。でも残念ながらこの病院はおバカの芝居に付き合えないわ。) Howard: Okay, I get it, I know how the world works, how about if I were to introduce you (holding up a five dollar bill) to the man who freed your people.(オーケー、わかった。世界がどう動くのかわかったよ。もしも僕が君が扱う人を自由にする人に君を紹介したらどうする。) Nurse: Unless my people were freed by Benjamin Franklin and his five twin brothers you are wasting your time.(私の扱う人がベンジャミン・フランクリンと彼の5組の双子兄弟によって自由にされた人でなかったら、あんたは時間を無駄にするだけよ。) Leonard: (running in) Hey, sorry I couldn't find a parking spot, how are you doing.(ごめん、駐車場が見つからなかったんだ。調子はどう?) Howard: Bad, very bad. Leonard: Really, 'cos you don't look like you're swelling up at all, maybe we should just pick up some benedryl* at the drug store and go home.(本当?だって全然腫れてないように見えるけど、薬局でベナドリルを買って家に帰ろう。) *花粉症を含むアレルギー反応の治療に使用される抗ヒスタミン剤の商標名 Howard: We can't go home. Leonard: Why not? Howard: Becauth (pretends tongue has swollen up) Becauth-th-th. Brissket, Brissket! Water, need water.(だって、...肩ばら肉、肩ばら肉!水、水くれ。) Leonard: Alright, I'll be right back. Howard: (into phone) Penny, look, I've got a problem.
(Penny with Sheldon in background at the head of a large queue of customers) Penny: Yeah, well so do I, look you've got to stall Leonard a little longer.(ええ、私もよ、ねえ、レナードをもう少し長くとどめといて。) Howard: I don't think I can. Penny: You have to, we all have to be there at the same time to yell "surprise!"(そうしなきゃだめ、「サプライズ!」って叫ぶと同時に皆あそこにいなきゃ。) Howard: Okay, you have to understand something, we're in a hospital right now.(オーケー、君は理解しなきゃ、僕らは今病院にいるんだぜ。) Penny: Why, is Leonard okay. Howard: Leonard's fine. I'm fine, thanks for asking, by the way. Penny: Okay, I don't need your attitude, just hold him there a little longer.(オーケー、あなたの態度が必要なんじゃないの、彼をもう少し長くそこに留めて。) Howard: Look, I've done my best but he wants to go home and I don't know how to stop him.(いいかい、僕は精いっぱいやったんだ、でも彼は家に帰りたがってる。) Penny: Okay, how about this. You keep him there a little longer and when you get to the party I'll point out which of my friends are easy.(オーケー、もう少し長く彼を引きとめてちょうだい。あなたがパーティーに着いた時、どの友達がやらせてくれるか教えてあげるわ。) Howard: Don't toy with me, woman.(僕をもてあそばないでくれ。) Penny: I've got a hot former fat girl with no self-esteem, I've got a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around and an alcoholic who's two tequila shots away from letting you wear her like a hat.(私、依然太ってて自分に自信のないいけてる女の子や、父親を罰するために男の子と寝まくってる子や、アル中でテキーラ2杯で帽子かぶるみたいにできちゃう子を知ってるわ。) Howard: Thy will be done. (主の御心のままに。)(Thinks. Reaches into back pocket, finds the half a granola bar from earlier. Looks down.(一考して、バックのポケットからさっきの半欠けのグラノーラ・バーを取り出し、下を向いて。)) I'm doing this for you, little buddy. (君のためにこうするのだ、友よ。))(Takes a bite.)
[The store]
(Sheldon is on the in-store computer) Sheldon: Okay, we don't have that in stock, but I can special order it for you.(オーケー、在庫はないけどあなたのために特注してあげますよ。) Penny: (with shop assistant, points at Sheldon) Him. Assistant: Excuse me, sir, you don't work here.(失礼、あなたここで働かないで。) Sheldon: Yes, well, apparently neither does anyone else.(一見して誰もいなそうだからやってるんだ。) Penny: Sheldon, we have to go. Sheldon: Why? Penny: Well, for one thing, we're late for Leonard's birthday party. And for another, I told him to call security.(一つにはレナードの誕生パーティーに遅れるから。それにもう一つ、私が彼に警備の人呼んでって言ったから。) Sheldon: (to customer) Good luck. (To assistant) By the way, a six year-old could hack your computer system.(ご幸運を、ところで6歳の子でもあなたのコンピュータを乗っ取れますよ。) Penny: Keep walking. Sheldon: Yeah, 1-2-3-4 is not a secure password.
[The hospital] Leonard: Excuse me, my friend is having an allergic reaction to peanuts.(失礼、友達がピーナッツ・アレルギーに反応しちゃったんだけど。) Nurse: No he's not. Leonard: Yes he is. Nurse: Look, sir we are very busy here and I just don't…
(sees Leonard whose face has swollen all over) Nurse: Holy crap!(大変だ!) Howard: Pees hep me!(Please help me!) Nurse: Code 4, I need a gurney, right away, right away.(コード4、移動式ベッド用意して、すぐに、すぐに。) Howard: Fank-u.(Thank you.)
[The stairwell] Leonard: Say what you will about the healthcare system in this country, but when they're afraid of lawsuits they sure test everything.(この国の医療システムについてどう思う、彼ら訴訟を恐れて全部テストしたね。) Howard: I really don't think the colonoscopy was necessary.(僕は大腸の内視鏡検査は必要なかったんじゃないかと思う。) Leonard: You know, before you got all swollen up, I actually thought you were trying to keep me out of the apartment so you could throw me a surprise party.(あのさ、君が膨れる前は、サプライズ・パーティーができるように僕をアパートから引き離そうとしてるのかと思ってた。) Howard: Oh, right, it's your birthday, I had no idea it was your birthday, I completely forgot, wow, what a lousy way to spend a birthday, well it's all over now.(そうだよ、これは君の誕生パーティーなんだ、君の誕生日だなんて思ってなかった、完全に忘れてた。ワオ、誕生日としてはなんてひどい過ごし方なんだ、もう全部終わってる。) Leonard: There is a party, isn't there. Howard: Maybe. Leonard: Howard. Howard: Are you mad?(怒ってるかい?) Leonard: How could I be mad? You actually risked your life because you cared about me.(どうして怒れるんだい?君は命の危険を冒してまで僕を気遣ってくれたのに。) Howard: Yeah, that's why I did it. Leonard: Alright. Here we go. My first birthday party.
(Opens door. Raj is drunkenly singing True Colors very badly into a microphone with his shirt off and a bandana round his head while waving a beer bottle. Penny and Sheldon are asleep on the couch and armchair respectively.) Raj: Dude! Everybody left an hour ago! Surprise!(君たち、みんな1時間前に帰っちゃったよ。サプライズ!)
[Time shift]
(View of a mobile phone video screen. Raj has a woman sitting on his shoulders) Raj: Okay Leonard, here I am at your birthday party, I don't know where you are dude, but it's really kick-ass. Everyone is very very drunk, and uh… (オーケー、レナード、僕は君の誕生パーティーに居るよ。君がどこにいたか知らないけど、これは実際最高だ。皆したたか酔っぱらって...。)(girl pours booze into his mouth) Oh look, there's a girl taking her shirt off.(オー、あの子シャツ脱いでるよ。) Penny: That's my friend Carol. Remind me, I've got to introduce her to Howard.(あれ私の友達、キャロル。思い出したわ、ハワードに紹介しなきゃ。) Raj: Oh sweet Krishna, shake it, that-a rupee maker*.(オー、可愛いクリシュナ、お尻振って。) *rupee=money、"money maker"=buttocks(お尻) Penny: I'm so sorry you didn't get your party.(ごめんなさい。あなたは自分のパーティーに間に合わなかったわ。) Leonard: Oh, it's okay. Penny: Happy birthday anyways. (She kisses him full on the lips.) Leonard: Hey Penny, when, uh, when's your birthday?(ヘイ、ペニー。君の誕生日はいつだい?)
Story: Bill Prady & Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay: Dave Goetsch & Steven Molaro
Japanese interpretaion by Norih